Coaching Excellence blog

R & R - Relax and Reconnect

September 27th, 2010

Start your week with some inspiration from iPEC!

Should old acquaintances be forgotten…

Each person in our lives leaves an energetic imprint on us. By reconnecting with someone special from our past we ignite that imprint. It reminds us of our journey to now and allows us to be uplifted by positive energy.

This week, think about someone you miss and reconnect with that person. You deserve the refresher.

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC,
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
www.ipeccoaching.com

What goes around comes around

September 20th, 2010

Start your week with some inspiration from iPEC!

This week I’ll stray from my traditional messages to share a story I heard and love.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

“I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son’s life.”

“No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.

“Is that your son?” the nobleman asked.

“Yes,” the farmer replied proudly.

“I’ll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.” And that he did. Farmer Fleming’s son attended the very best schools and, in time, graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman’s son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son’s name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC,
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
www.ipeccoaching.com

How Breakthrough Laser Coaching Changed the Way I do Business

September 15th, 2010

By Guest Blogger CJ Scarlet

Within two weeks after the idea for my new coaching venture tumbled out of my mouth, I read Bruce Schneider’s Energy Leadership and I shifted. This book immediately changed my thinking about what coaching could accomplish when done from the right energy levels and for the right reasons.

A few months later I attended Module IV, Energy Leadership and I was transformed. Everything I knew as a coach and a human being was challenged and a totally new perspective of the world emerged. I have been an Energy Leadership evangelist ever since.

I would like to share with you five simple yet profound ways Energy Leadership and iPEC’s Breakthrough Laser Coaching have changed the way I do business—both as a coach and as an entrepreneur:

1. Garbage in, garbage out. If I am not in a healthy state of mind, especially when coaching, I will not achieve the results I seek. Without exception, I am most effective in my personal and professional interactions when I am in anabolic energy. My partners and I created a short centering exercise that we and our coaches use before entering a session, based on the acronym You COACH. It goes like this:

Center. Physically and emotionally release old energy. Enter the Now. Call on your Higher Coach.
Offer gratitude for the opportunity to serve. Open a safe space for wisdom, understanding and learning.
Allow. Release responsibility for the outcome. Trust yourself. Trust the process. Trust your client.
Create the environment for possibilities and choices to emerge.
Honor the innate wisdom and potential of your client and yourself.
YOU COACH.

2. Look to the thought. To get to the right action, first get the right thought behind it. This makes sense, as you cannot achieve the right action if your thinking is off-base. Our coaches explain to each client that “Thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions” in order to help them appreciate that a new thought is required if change is going to occur. We then help the client explore new ways of thinking that enlarge their perspective, help them recognize that they alone possess the power to change their situation, and take action. Works every time!

3. Validation is extremely important. People long to feel validated and heard—in fact, I believe it is one of our most important needs, second only to being loved. As coaches, if all we do is listen and validate, we will have met the most basic needs of our clients. I love the look of relief and appreciation on my clients’ faces when they get validated. It validates me and helps me know I’m making a difference in their lives.

4. You’re only human. As a leader, I have been confronted and my leadership skills tested on a few occasions, and it’s not always easy to maintain my composure. Sometimes I rise to the occasion and sometimes I respond from a place of defensiveness or fear. Just recently I made an error in judgment that frustrated one of my partners. I felt absolutely sick about it, and it was only through the long discussion that followed that I was able to realize that I am terrified of making mistakes. I have this unrealistic expectation that I will do it perfectly every time, all the time. My wise partners advised me to offer myself permission to not be perfect, and a weight dropped from my shoulders. Give yourself permission to make the occasional mistake; we’re only human, after all.

5. BLC works…for everyone. I have yet to apply BLC in a personal or professional setting when it didn’t work. Each of us has at least one friend or relative who lives in Level 1 energy, constantly complaining and seeing everything in a negative light. A close relative of mine is like this, and for decades I tried to motivate her to think and act more positively, to no avail. But when I applied the BLC method to her situation, it worked beautifully! First and foremost, I validated her, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before because I was afraid it would send the message that I agreed with her negativity. When I used validating language, her tone shifted and she began to talk more positively. Because she felt heard, she didn’t feel like she had to complain louder to get my attention. As a result, she was open to being coached to achieve a shift in her perspective. She hasn’t called me to complain since! The premise of Breakthrough Laser Coaching is so simple, yet so profound, and people find themselves sharing so deeply that I am humbled over and over again.

I urge everyone to use the principles they learned in their training to not only better meet the needs of your clients, friends and loved ones, but for yourself as well. Breakthrough Laser Coaching and Energy Leadership change lives. Let it change yours.

About CJ Scarlet:

CJ Scarlet is Chief Rover of Roving Coach International, an official partner of iPEC that is working to create World Peace in the Workplace. Roving Coach offers Breakthrough Laser Coaching to middle manager and other employees who don’t typically get access to coaching like the “big dogs” do. For more information, please visit www.rovingcoach.com.

You are not your thoughts

September 13th, 2010

Start your week with some inspiration from iPEC!

(with all due respect to Descartes…)

“You have thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but you are not your thoughts, feelings, or emotions.” Frances Vaughn

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC,
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
www.ipeccoaching.com

How Coaching Changed my Life

September 8th, 2010

By Guest Blogger Karen S. Richter

I am so grateful for how coaching has enhanced my internal capacity to handle whatever life hands me.  So much so, that I want to share the amazing experience and resulting self-awareness, inner peace, and happiness with others.

Several years ago, I was in a place where many parents find themselves - feeling pulled in multiple directions, and living on autopilot. I had too little time and energy to devote to all the conflicting priorities in my life, and ended up feeling a bit inadequate at them all.

My Human Resources role drastically changed on September 11, 2001. Through helping our employees (our offices were across the street from the World Trade Center), I got a glimpse of what it was like to truly help others – to have a significant impact on their lives. It was an amazing experience. I felt so alive! I loved being able to help others in such a big way.

I worked with a life coach to address my feelings of frustration and inadequacy, and to identify ways to continue to feel that value of truly helping others.  I got clear on my priorities and began living according to my values. As I experienced the transformational powers of coaching first-hand, I realized that this was the way to help people live their lives to their fullest potential.  I attended iPEC training and learned the coaching process that allowed me to see things in a much more positive light and completely changed my life. I realized my passion was not to just live my own life to the fullest, feeling fulfilled as a parent, wife, friend, etc., but to help others find that same fulfillment and inner peace in their own lives. I decided to pursue a career in coaching, and founded Cohesive Outcomes, a company dedicating to enriching the lives of parents through coaching and outdoor adventure retreats.

The proof of how much the coaching process enhanced my internal capacity to handle all that life throws at me came when I was faced with a shocking personal tragedy. I was able to handle the situation with much more grace and ease than I ever imagined, due to what I had learned through coaching.  My husband was shot in the face in a random act of violence.  Instead of feeling like the victim (“How could this happen to us?”), instead of feeling sorry for myself (“How can I cope with all the stresses of this situation?”), I was able to see all things I had to be grateful for (he’s alive, he’s going to fully recuperate, we’ve got access to great doctors, we have a network of wonderfully supportive family and friends).  I realized I was not a victim of my circumstances, but in control of my reactions and resulting situations.  I began to live with an amazing calmness, knowing that I was able to live life on my terms, and actually create the life of my dreams.

I continue to be thankful of how coaching has enriched my life. Every day, I’m able to more clearly see the abundance in my life. I find ways to spend time enjoying all the things I have to be thankful for.  I’ve stopped using up my precious energy on negative things, or things I can’t change and instead find positive energy that allows me to focus on keeping my family and friends a priority. So much energy that I’ve been able to find enough to train and complete a full marathon – yep – 26.2 miles! And coaching has allowed me to find clarity in my life – to realize that my purpose is to help others. And that’s why I’m here – to help parents realize they can achieve balance and satisfaction in lives. And that people can, not only survive in tough times, but thrive!

About Karen Richter:
Karen S. Richter is a recent iPEC Graduate and loves helping others ‘find inner peace in parenthood’.  As the owner of Cohesive Outcomes, LLC, Karen finds her own inner peace by getting outdoors to enjoy nature as often as possible, and living in her old (220+ years) farmhouse in Bucks County, PA with her husband, two children, 3 cats, and many chickens.