Coaching Excellence blog

It’s Not Them… It’s You!

September 7th, 2010

Remember that terrible old “break up” line… “No, no, really… it’s not you, it’s me.”  Well, sometimes it seems that history is not without a sense of irony.

The Norm: When situations get frustrating and are not living up to our expectations, we begin looking at who is causing the situation.  We can’t possibly be the source.  It must be elsewhere… right?

But alas, it’s not them, it’s you/us!

We see the world through our perceptions, through our past experiences, and through our values.  This forms our “filter” for viewing life and for how we act and react in any situation.  So we act and perceive based on our filters; just like others act and perceive based on theirs…

See how quickly “reality” becomes quite “relative” depending who you are in this particular scenario?

Key point: Notice that others are simply interpreting and acting based on how they see the world, and you are doing the same, based on how you see the world?

This is just a normal cycle in our everyday lives.  Individuals – who are empowered, who positively impact and influence others, and (dare I say) who lead others – choose not to get caught up in this cycle.  Instead they know it is part of the game of life, and they have fun with it.  They are quick to identify and check their own perceptions – recognizing their perception is exactly this: theirs, and no one else’s.

When you don’t see a situation the same way as someone else, or someone doesn’t see it your way, don’t let frustration or aggravation get in your way.  Instead know that differences are to be expected, welcomed, AND understood.

Know that if you have a “negative” reaction to a situation or another person, that it’s really telling you something about YOURSELF.

You can spend your time wishing the other person will change or wake up or you can focus on yourself and be aware of what perceptions that you have that may be causing any feelings of negativity.  One path will lead to frustration; the other to fulfillment.

So, a helpful little takeaway: Walk with a mirror – meaning, when you want a different result, when you want something to change, stop looking to others for that change, and instead focus in on the one thing you can change – you!

Live on fire!

D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO

Lead your Life

September 6th, 2010

Start your week with some inspiration from iPEC!

“You really don’t have to be concerned with choosing your reality. Your fears will choose it for you.”  People either make choices from fear or love. Those who make choices from fear are victims in life, waiting until things happen to them, and because they wait, they remain defensive to life. Victims also make choices out of avoidance, the lesser of two evils, in many cases. People who choose from love are those who are proactive, consciously making decisions based on what they want, not on what they want to avoid. They are the leaders of their world and, more importantly, of their lives.

This week, when faced with a choice, clear your mind, relax, and choose from love.

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC,
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
www.ipeccoaching.com

Kermit the Frog

September 1st, 2010

A Coach and Role Model
By Guest Blogger Shari Ciapka

I’m a Muppet fanatic to the core.  It all began when my mom made me a Miss Piggy costume for Halloween, and I proudly paraded around the Lake Hiawatha Elementary School parking lot in my feather boa, pig ears, and cardboard snout.  I aspired to be just like Miss Piggy as she epitomized the ultimate balance of glamour and feminine power. As I matured, however, I also became akin to Kermit the Frog’s disposition, which is really that of his creator, Jim Henson.

Jim Henson said; “When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world.  My hope is to leave the world a little better for my having been there.”  There’s no doubt that Henson accomplished his goal by masterfully educating and entertaining people of all ages through his unique interaction between puppets and humans.  His brilliant legacy will live on for generations to come.

There’s a deeply introspective scene in “The Muppet Movie”, in which Kermit and friends become stranded in the desert on route to Hollywood, possibly missing their big chance to become movie stars.  In a conversation with himself, Kermit wonders why all of the Muppets have entrusted him with their dream.  After all, he never promised them anything.  In his dialogue, he finally realizes that everyone came along because they believed in the dream too, and the only one to whom he made a promise was himself.  Kermit is a natural leader with a sense of humility and an innate ability to bring out the best in others – sounds a lot like iPEC coaches.

What can we learn from Kermit?  Just because we’re coaches doesn’t mean that we have to “have it all figured out” or “have it all together” all the time.  Why?  Because the answers lie within our clients, of course.  The important thing is that we are highly aware of our own thoughts, feelings, and actions, which allow us to self-coach, reach out to fellow coaches for assistance, and utilize our inner coach to guide others.  All we need to bring to the table is an intuitive ear, a unique servicing system, and a promise to ourselves that we’ll be the best coaches we can be.  Guided by Kermit, the Muppets ultimately make it to Hollywood, and they get their big movie deal.  What legacy will you leave through coaching?

“Life’s like a movie.  Write your own ending.  Keep believing, keep pretending.  We’ve done just what we set out to do, thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and you.”  ~ Kermit the Frog and “The Muppet Movie” cast.

About Shari Ciapka:
Shari’s mission through Sense Savvy Living (SSL) is to help people reveal the beauty in their everyday lives through the health and wellness of their five senses.  She’s passionate that our senses are the precious intake system for how we experience the world, and they should not be taken for granted.  Through SSL, Shari provides real-life ideas that will inspire, empower, and motivate you to touch, taste, smell, see, and hear your way to a sensational life.  You can read more of Shari’s blog posts at her website, http://www.sensesavvyliving.com/, and also on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sense-Savvy-Living/176276913338