How rigidly do you stick to your plan and perspective, despite the ever changing environment and unexpected twists and turns that inevitably arise along the way? C’mon, be honest. What do you feel in the moment you discover that something didn’t match up to what you were expecting? Frustrated? Defeated? Angry? How often do you find yourself pushing forward anyway, only to look back later and ask yourself, “What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just…?”
We like to think about playing the game by our rules, and not by other peoples’ rules.
Think about this: What would life and work be like if you were so comfortable and confident in your own abilities and intentions, that you could play the “game” by anyone’s rules, knowing that you could go with the flow and that your flexibility provided you the ability to create the best results for all involved – at any time?
What would that type of flexibility help you achieve?
The first step in being this flexible is to give up the need to be right. Know what your real goal is – meaning the target for which you’re aiming, and NOT the very specific strategies and tactics you feel must be employed to reach the goal. Focus on that real goal; know why it’s important to you. And now, place your focus elsewhere. You already know your goal and what you think. So now, focus on understanding what the other person is thinking… what’s important to them… what’s their real goal, etc.
Focus there, be flexible, and let the conversation flow. You may be surprised at the results and how often you’ll be able to align your goals with the goals of others.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)