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May 16th, 2012
It’s mid-week. What have you accomplished so far this week? Are you where you wanted to be at this point in the week?
Typically, by this point in the week, we’re either feeling very good about the progress we’ve made, or not so much. So, what better time to take stock of where you are? To understand the mid-week gut check, I have to first give you some information.
I keep all – and I mean ALL – of my To-Do’s in the task list of Outlook. It doesn’t matter if it’s paying a bill, picking up milk at the store on the way home, or writing a proposal for a huge new client. Whatever To-Do’s you have belong in this master list. (Quick side note: My To-Do’s are noted as specific, tangible action steps, not projects. Projects require multiple steps, and my brain may or may not know what’s actually next – in which case, I make no forward progress until I drill it down. I learned this when I read, “Getting Things Done,” by David Allen, and I’ll admit, I’m a GTD-aholic.)
So, at the beginning (or end) of every week, I review the big task list, figure out my top A priorities (never selecting more than 5), and place them onto a separate sheet of paper (a sticky note, note pad, whatever), so that I can see them at all times on my desk (or even stuck to the cover of my laptop). Next, I make sure I have time scheduled on my calendar to do these 5 items. You MUST make an appointment with yourself (or whomever you need) to get these priorities on your schedule FIRST, before you set up any other meetings or any of the other distractions you’re going to allow to muddy up your calendar. Know your priorities.
With that background out of the way, it’s mid-week gut check time! On Wednesday morning, I look at my top 5 priorities and consider what progress I’ve made, what the next steps are, and what the “finish line” is for these items this week. The finish line may not be completion of the priority, but the milestone or progress I wanted to achieve. If you do this on Wednesday, it gives you 2 to 3 whole days to right the ship if you’re off track – to bear down, to make tough choices (like cancelling or putting off meetings or delaying other To-Do’s), and to re-commit to what you will get done before Friday’s happy hour.
If I’m making good progress, I consider what might be a stretch goal to push further, what might put me ahead going into next week, and how I might actually gain some time on my schedule, so I can take what some people call a “break.” And, I like my breaks. I like knowing that I can take some time to unwind and feel satisfied with the progress I’ve made. It helps me recharge for what’s next. Each spurt of achievement and rest is the same as building muscle. And this muscle of achievement, planning, focus, and rest is a muscle that can accomplish amazing things.
I thrive best when I have clarity – about what I’m doing, how I’m going to do it, and why I’m doing it. I make sure my routines support this process. Are you setting up your routines to support you? Or are you just winging it? Support comes in many ways – and setting up good habits and routines for yourself is one such system of support for which you don’t need anyone else.
Give yourself that support so you can — Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: intentions, personal achievement, perspective, self-improvement, success
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
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May 10th, 2012
The lessons learned from sports are invaluable. It was in team sports where I first learned what leadership is all about. At an early age, I was fortunate to learn the fundamentals of leadership, and practice and experience being a leader.
As a teenage athlete, leadership is not something that’s easily recognizable. Instead, players would stand out if they possessed a strong work ethic, had natural talent and skill, had the ability to motivate and encourage others, and got the job done. Bundled together, to a more mature athlete and adult, this is leadership.
Being a leader isn’t something you choose; it’s something that you are, and it’s something that is felt and recognized by others. When someone possesses these qualities, it’s apparent, and it’s acknowledged when team captains are voted upon. The team collectively selects the person/people they look to for support, strength, and success. It’s at that moment, when you’re selected as a team captain, that you take on the responsibility of being a leader for your teammates. You have an obligation to work hard, perform under pressure, and lead by example.
As my athletic career progressed, I had the opportunity to play for many different teams, at many different levels. The competition was harder, the players were better, and everyone was the team captain from the previous team they had played on. Now, the entire team was comprised of team captains and leaders. As a team leader, you would expect to always be selected as the team leader. The worst feeling is to be overlooked, or worse, to be lost in the crowd. How do you select a team captain, from an entire team built of them? The reality, and the beauty, of being a team leader is whether or not you’re voted to carry the title of “team captain,” you’re still a team leader.
Team sports taught me that, regardless of title, role and experience, there’s always an opportunity to be a leader, and to use your leadership skills. Leadership isn’t something you choose, it’s something that you are. Everyone, at every moment, every play, and every second of the game, has an opportunity to lead. Life outside of sports is no different. The opportunity for leadership exists everywhere.
Where in your life do you feel like you’re a confident and experienced leader? And where in your life do you feel like you’re not? How true is it, really, that you’re not a leader in that situation? Someone you don’t even realize is looking to you as a leader, and it’s your responsibility to lead in that moment.
Alison Graddock, CPC, ELI-MP
Marketing Assistant
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: intentions, leadership, opportunity, personal achievement
Posted in Alison Graddock - CPC, leadership
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May 9th, 2012
Whether to comb our hair, put on makeup, or check how our outfit looks, we all look at ourselves in the mirror. Some may do it more frequently than others. We may wonder if some people even own a mirror! Maybe, while looking at ourselves, we think, “I should try a new hair style.” Or, “Red really is my color!” Whatever the case is, we’re observing ourselves and contemplating change. But how often do we hold up the proverbial mirror and look at our belief system? How do we go about changing that? The real formula for change has to come from within.
As coaches, we know great questions are really the key to the success for which we’re all looking. One great question to ask ourselves, when we’re looking at our belief system, is, “What is the opportunity here?” We benefit from realizing that there is a significant difference between confidence and self-esteem. Unless we change our esteem – the self-talk in our heads, the things we say to ourselves, the way we feel about ourselves – we won’t be uncovering what’s really going on, i.e., the energy that’s inside of us.
If we want to change our lives, if we want to change our results and figure out that formula for success, it’s not about simply changing behavior. Behavior will get us part of the way. It will help us create faster change, but, that change will not be sustained. We actually have to change the underlying belief system that created those old habits in the first place. If, through the image in the mirror and through our own eyes, we’re still seeing that old person, and we’re not seeing that new person whom we’re creating, the old habits are going to come back. It’s just a matter of time.
To change our belief system, we must stop pretending and stop lying to ourselves. We’re amazingly skilled at rationalizing our situation. Human beings have a gift for being able to rationalize themselves into any type of success or rationalize why something didn’t work out for them. A question to ask ourselves is, “Just what am I pretending not to know?” We must become more self-aware of those things that we’re pretending not to know – that is, to question ourselves serves as one of those reality checks.
We must ensure we call our own bluffs, because we have that amazing gift of being able to rationalize our thoughts and behaviors, and tell ourselves whatever stories we need to in order to support our own self-esteem. And, at times, the best thing that we can do is to step back and say, “Hey wait a minute; what’s the reality here? What’s really going on?”
The feelings that surface are the signals of what’s going on inside us. If we’re not recognizing those, and we’re not accepting and honoring those – if we’re smothering them with an addiction or we’re covering them with something that’s distracting us from what’s really going on – that signal of resistance, which is connected to our pain, is gonna be transmitted to everyone with whom we come in contact.
Stop pretending; stop lying to yourself. A question I love to ask myself is, “Just what am I pretending not to know.” When we’re honest with ourselves and say, “Cut the BS; what’s really going on with myself?” It’s almost like we can, at least, own up to the fact and understand that, if it’s not at the level at which you want it, you’re not there, and it doesn’t matter if things are good enough or you’re just getting by or even if you’re doing exceedingly well in any area. If it’s not at the level at which you want it, you deserve to take a look at where you want to go. And that’s not an easy thing to do, especially with yourself.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, change, choice, opportunity
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
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May 2nd, 2012
There are certain words that always seem to elicit feelings and emotions. These words vary for each of us. “Snakes” or “spiders” may not cause many of us to have a response, but you can bet a few readers are squirming, right now. How about this word… “Passion.” We all know passion is crucial to achieving success; but, think about passion for a moment. What does “passion” make you feel? Perhaps you’re thinking of love or desire, or maybe even a specific person is in your thoughts. Did “Commitment” come to mind? Because passion and commitment go hand in hand. Both are needed to energize ourselves to achieve success.
Are you 100% committed to your success? In order to achieve success, it’s critical to be committed, to be passionate, to be available, and to give all that you have. To be successful, we need to develop and control our attitudes. The only thing that stands between us and the kind of life we want is our willingness and faith to believe that what we want is possible. It’s the attitude and belief that we can make it all what we want it to be. Or, there’s the alternative: We can sit back and wade in the muck, mire, and yuck of life.
If we want to accomplish our goals, it’s not the thought, “I have to do these things,” or “I need to these things.” Rather, it’s a powerful change and a powerful energy shift that we create for ourselves when we commit our focus on that place of want, as opposed to that place of need. It’s this change of focus that can propel us to go further, when creating the change we want.
During a recent eFactor, Evie DePiazza described her 212 degrees rule. The 212 degrees rule is giving the extra degree. At 211 degrees water is really hot, but at 212 degrees it boils, and that one degree is the difference. It’s the difference that changes hot water into boiling water, which makes steam. Steam is energy, and with that one extra degree, that steam can power a locomotive. The energy of our success comes from exerting that one extra degree.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little extra effort. It’s breaking out of the ordinary to do those small extra things; but, at times, it’s those little extra things that many people won’t go out of their way to do. And then, all of a sudden, those little extras turn into very big extras, and you step into that realm of extraordinary power.
If you’re going to enter into any activity, you better do it with commitment, because it’s going to be so much more rewarding when your heart and soul are part of it. Once you step out of the ordinary, step out of your actions, step out of your comfort zone, and step it up to extraordinary, you will see what happens.
So where do you want to be? How do you want to be? The choice is yours.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, choice, expectations, intentions, leadership
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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April 25th, 2012
It’s amazing how often we forget to ask, “What if?” to more fully consider what our options are, to explore possibilities, to think through alternative situations, to look for a new perspective, or to consider what it’d be like to try something new.
• What would be our goal if this issue hadn’t emerged? So, what would we need to do to still go for that goal if we could?
• What do we learn if we look at this from another perspective (such as the perspective of the person on the other side of the argument, or with the new idea, or with the resistance)?
• What could happen if we tried X instead?
There’s a million “What ifs” you could pose in any moment, and the point isn’t to come up with an exhaustive list. The point is to explore at least a few more options than the first one or two that come to you.
Otherwise, we risk unconsciously rushing forward and repeatedly making similar choices, which don’t lead us to where we really want to go. It’s interesting how quick we are to jump into action at times, especially under stress, because we just want to get through it. We may nail down a next step and even take it, but how well does it lead to where we really want to go?
So, slow down for two minutes, ask some “What ifs,” and you’ll save a lot of time down the road.
And, remember, “What ifs” don’t achieve a lot unless they’re backed up by a decision. Use the “What if” questions to get a list of options, weigh those pros and cons of the options, and then make the best decision you can. Follow that decision with, “What’s next?” – meaning how will you specifically move this forward; i.e., name your specific next step(s).
Dream with “What If” and make it happen with “What’s next”!
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, change, choice, intentions, new perspective
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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