Just reading those words, you can almost feel the weight of this question. It’s usually asked by a person who feels trapped and alone. More often than not, it also has a lot of victim energy floating around it.
“Why did this have to happen to me?”
“What could I have possibly done to deserve this?”
“How will I ever get my life back to the place where I was before this happened?”
When something unexpected happens, and we label it as bad or overwhelming, most of us tend to naturally ask these questions from a victim point of view.
Here comes the opportunity: the next time something unexpected happens in your life, and you feel the weight of the questions you typically ask yourself, recognize that weight. Then, ask yourself those same questions again, but do so with the energy of a scientist instead of a victim. Instead of putting all of that weight and victim energy behind each question, approach these questions from the standpoint that you may or may not have a literal answer. Be open to the fact that there might not be a visible answer right now – and that’s okay.
Picture yourself in a lab coat, with spectacles and a Sigmund Freud look of curiosity on your face.
“Why did this happen to me? Hmmm…..” Take down some notes that may lead you to better understand the possible lesson and/or opportunity at hand.
“What could I have possibly done to deserve this? Hmmm…. Maybe nothing? That’s interesting.” Then, take the next step to find a potential solution.
“How will I get my life back to the place where it was before this happened? Hmmm…” Write down potential steps to get you moving in the direction you’d prefer to be headed.
Anybody can be a victim; choose to be a scientist.
Enjoy the Ride!
Ryan M. Stanley, CPC
Social Media Guy
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Ryan Stanley is an iPEC graduate and received his CPC in August of 2009. He currently heads up the Social Media department at iPEC and also has his own coaching practice where he focuses on working with musicians and other individuals throughout the music industry.