|
|
March 30th, 2011
Last week, we shared a few inspiring stories of tremendous response-ability. And, as I’m sure you realized, inspiration often comes from the most amazing and unexpected of places. It can be found anywhere and everywhere. You’ll even find inspiration in yourself if you’ll just look for it!
You know those moments when life pushed back on you, and you decided to simply step back, look around, and take another path to where you wanted to go? Those moments where you should have faltered, you should have let the weight of the world slow you down? Instead, you simply shrugged, and kept moving. Not sure yet? Then let’s create some inspiration with your response-ability, and then you’ll realize you’ve had this ability all along.
• What situations do you have in your life that you feel are beyond your control?
• What have you been trying to achieve, but are losing momentum because it just hasn’t happened yet?
• What does someone close to you do that really pushes your buttons, or you feel shows a lack of caring for you?
• How are you reacting to these situations, instead of responding?
Reactions are instinctual; they’re ingrained… they’re the unconscious, automatic behaviors that get triggered by difficult situations.
Responses (and practicing your response-ability), on the other hand, are conscious. You take in the information around you – looking more widely, instead of narrowly. You take your emotions, perceptions, and even the pressure you feel to fire off that “gut instinct” reply and you pause – if ever so briefly – so that your circumstances are not in control of you. So, now for those situations above…
• What possible outcomes would you really like to have?
• How is what you’re doing, right now, getting you that?
• What are a few other responses that you could employ, which would bring you closer, or even help you achieve, what you’re really after?
• How are you going to put this new response into practice?
Response-ability is about slowing down just long enough to choose your response and, in doing so, breaking the cycle of unconscious behavior and changing the course of your day, your month, your year, and maybe even… your life!
So, what responses are you going to adopt in the next week to bring about the changes and results you want?
Until next time, Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, attitude, become a coach, coach training, expectations, intentions, leadership, life coach training, opportunity, personal achievement, power of choice, self-improvement, success
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, leadership
No Comments »
March 23rd, 2011
Remember, life can never take from you, your response-ability – your ability to respond. This is why it’s personal to me; I hope it is to you as well.
When the doctor told Bruce D Schneider, founder of iPEC, that at 18 years of age – after being nearly crushed in a car accident, thanks to a drunk driver – he would likely never walk again, he could have succumbed to the mental anguish and believed the doctor. Instead, after failing repeated tests to prove the doctor wrong, he succeeded when no one else (but he) believed that he could. Just several days later, he walked out of the hospital, on crutches, but on his terms. He went on to become a highly competitive athlete, and to launch an institute that became a movement.
Bruce’s response-ability was not only to live a healthy life, but to make a difference doing so.
When the oncologist told my grandfather, Bill Roether, a marine-engineer, that he had a very rare and advanced form of lung cancer, he was also told he had four months to live — if he was lucky. He could have completely given up and waited for his life to end; instead, he moved himself and his wife across the country, so they could be with their family. He built her a house, got her moved in, and even provided me with my own personal Tuesdays with Morrie (er, Bill) sessions. He lived more than 18 months, and passed away just a week after my grandmother received the keys to her new house. I’m not sure whether he or us laughed more in our lives than during those 18 months. He’d go, but it’d be on his terms.
My grandfather’s response-ability was to live the remainder of his life as productively and as joyfully as possible. With that choice, he not only extended his life by more than a year, he forever changed my life as well.
These stories have touched me directly and personally, but, at the same time, it’s the everyday stories that inspire me most.
It’s the single mom who, in the face of mounting pressure and seemingly endless bills, takes the time to finish her degree, online, while also making sure to never miss reading bedtime stories to her son or helping him with his homework.
That’s yet another example of life showing me that I always have the chance to be clear and resolved on how I will live MY life.
It’s the rising number of women who have faced, and overcome, infertility in their own way – through persevering, through finding purpose in their struggles, or, perhaps, through adoption. Their response-ability is to choose to live life through loving, learning, and moving forward.
Think of these people in your life — those who recognize their response-ability and decide to do something with it. Take notice of them. Let their lives and their stories, inspire you.
Feel free to post those stories here, in the Comments, or share them on our Facebook page. If these stories inspire you, please let them inspire us too.
Until next time, Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, attitude, coach training, finding purpose, intentions, leadership, life coach training, new perspective, personal achievement, power of choice, self-improvement, success
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, Life Potentials, leadership
1 Comment »
March 16th, 2011
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
– Robert Frost
Responsibility is a word that can cause some people to get excited, while causing others to cringe. In an age where it seems like we have no shortage of things for which we must be responsible, it’s very natural, and quite understandable, to desire a little less responsibility. Who wouldn’t like to have one less thing on their plate, or one less person or situation demanding their attention? Life can quickly find us in overwhelm mode, and it’s time to say, ENOUGH ALREADY!
… But not necessarily in the way that you think.
What we’ve lost sight of, perhaps, or where our perspective may have become skewed, is that we always have a choice. We’re only victims of our circumstances if we grant that power and authority to our circumstances. Situations – i.e., LIFE – will always unfold in an unpredictable manner, and change will always be a constant. So, why, exactly, are we so surprised by the unpredictability of life? Couldn’t you have predicted that?
In the end, what life can never take from you is your response-ability – your ability to respond.
Situations occur… So what?!
The boss calls and needs you to rearrange all of your priorities right now… So what?!
Your spouse calls and says, “Sorry, Hon… I can’t make it back in time to pick-up the kids. You’ll need to get them and drive them to the 34 different activities they’re involved in tonight.” So what?!
Your new girlfriend or boyfriend who just can’t do anything wrong finally does something wrong. So what?!
I’d like to list more serious situations around illness, death, finances, suffering in some way, but I don’t want to make light of the gravity of any individual’s personal situation; however, everyone has experienced such difficult times. Everyone has a burden they are shouldering (most likely unnecessarily), and everyone still has a choice to make! Everyone can still choose to respond in a way that enables them to move forward, to move on, to regain their happiness, and to follow their bliss.
It’s not necessarily easy… but it sure is freeing!
Stay tuned for more response-ability in upcoming posts. Until then, think about a typical situation that frustrates you or really upsets you. How will you choose to exercise your response-ability - now that you know that you have a choice in how you respond - the next time such a situation comes up?
Until next time, Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, attitude, coach training, intentions, leadership, life coach training, self-improvement
Posted in Business Development, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, Training Programs, Upcoming Events & Workshops, leadership
3 Comments »
March 9th, 2011
The catch phrase of the month (and certainly for the first two months of 2011) seems to be Charlie Sheen’s “Winninnnggg!” Now, this isn’t going to be a Sheen-like rant, but let’s take a look at what winning is really about.
Winning can be equated to the vague and illustrious word “success.” And coaches – whether a Certified Professional Coach, a life coach, an executive coach, an internal coach, a Coach Centric Leader,™ or a Coach Centric Educator™ – define what winning is at all times, in specific terms.
One of the things I do with clients, and what our team here at iPEC tries to do at all times, is make sure we’re clear on what we’re trying to accomplish.
To be “clear” means that we take everyone’s unique and differing perspectives and understanding of “winning” into account. We talk about it. We discuss what it looks like to us. And, we acknowledge what it looks like to others.
Once you create a vivid, 3D picture of “winning” in the minds of others, you can ask everyone how committed they are to achieving it. You can’t commit to winning, and you can’t ask others to commit to it, unless you and they know what that win looks like.
But wait! One last element to the winning formula that coaches and Coach Centric Leaders and Educators create - they don’t define the “win” solely as a destination. Almost everyone thinks of a goal as the end result only.
Coaches help their clients, employees, colleagues, and even students, define the process of achievement. How you’re going to be, how you’re going to communicate, how you’re going to adapt, how you’re going to perceive, how you’re going to relate to others. The process is about how you show up. Showing up the way you intend – putting your best effort in, putting your best self forward – that’s what creates “Winninnnggg!”
We need the end result in mind, of course. We want to know where we’re going to end-up. How else would we be able to chart our course? But, pay attention to the journey - to the process of achieving that much sought after win. It’s the process that will get you there and, it’s the process (and the adaptability and flexibility you exhibit in that process) that provides focus, clarity, and control along the way.
So, HOW do you win?
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, coach training, coaching skills
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, Life Potentials, leadership
2 Comments »
February 23rd, 2011
Chaos… Just writing the word brings up feelings of being out-of-control. But really, what is chaos? Webster’s Dictionary has four basic definitions of the word. They are:
1. a state of things in which chance is supreme
2. the inherent unpredictability in the behavior of a complex natural system
3. a state of utter confusion
4. a confused mass or mixture
Certainly doesn’t sound like something you want to experience, does it? Let’s take a closer look…
From a coaching perspective, chaos is often the result of a shake-up of the status quo. When we live our lives by the same old patterns, experiencing very little, if any, change, it can be like reaching a plateau. While this may have become a rather comfortable and routine way of life, it’s certainly not an empowering one.
By choosing to leave your comfort zone in pursuit of your true personal or professional desires, you’re often inviting chaos, in some form, into your life. In other words, you’ve actually taken some very specific steps to positively “disrupt” your predictable way of being in order to make significant changes in your life.
The challenge, and often that feeling of being surrounded by chaos, arises when we set our expectations that these changes will be easily incorporated, and done so in a certain way. All too often, life seems to have other plans for us.
Initial reactions to chaos typically are resistance, concern, and stress. The primary reason? Chaos and change bring about uncertainty. One thing I know about uncertainty is that it never likes to travel alone. Like a movie star or rock singer, uncertainty often brings along its own entourage of doubt, stress, and even fear. This is ESPECIALLY true for someone who seeks clarity and has a value around that clarity. Chaos itself may simply be a conflict in your values — your value for growth or change may be fighting with your value for clarity or certainty.
Even so, it’s key to remember that there’s a difference between seeking clarity and needing clarity. Seeking clarity is something you strive for and a forward-moving process you can feel good about. Needing clarity is a fear-based or “lack” mentality – one that suggests things can only be alright if there’s clarity. This is a natural human response, one that represents what we refer to at iPEC as Level 1 (victim, “at the effect of”) and Level 2 (resistant, conflict) energy.
So, it’s important to be patient – especially with yourself – during these times. Every change has an incubation period, particularly those changes that are worthwhile. Know what your intended results are, and then remember that chaos is part of obtaining those results. Chaos simply becomes part of the process. Knowing this makes the chaos not something to fear, but rather, something to embrace.
Chaos may simply mean that change is occurring… and chaos itself is neither good, nor bad.
How you respond to, and then redirect the energy within you that’s being caused by this chaos is what’s most important. What will be your response-ability? Will you react with resistance and force, or respond with grace and fluidity by using the energy to your advantage and moving it in the direction you most desire?
If you choose to recognize the opportunity in chaos, it can be a very positive sign that change is working – even if the chaos seems to be coming from all directions. After all, everything’s connected, right? So don’t be all that surprised when changes start occurring in other areas of your life and work as well.
Remember, chaos does not mean a thing by itself. It just is what it is. How YOU respond to that chaos is up to YOU.
What are your thoughts on chaos? Is it your friend or foe?
Until next time, live on fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Current Affairs, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, Life Potentials, leadership
4 Comments »
|
|
Subscribe (RSS)