In my experience, I’ve noticed successful leaders can vary dramatically. Some were authoritative, command and control types. Others were focused on collaborating with those they lead. Some had a high level of knowledge or expertise that helped them become successful. Others didn’t have a particular skill that set them apart, but they were charismatic and their colleagues were drawn to them. So to me, it’s not about a particular style or having a particular set of knowledge or skills.

When thinking about successful leadership, I naturally also thought about unsuccessful leaders. For me, something that is universal about the traditional hierarchy is that they “lead from their title.” When I think about titles, their purpose should be to define a person’s position in an organization, their compensation, and some perks they may receive. A title should not be used as a source of power, affect how you treat people, and ultimately, how you lead. Leading from your title may get people to do things, but they will never reach their maximum potential because they’re focused on staying in line.

Understanding how you view titles and leadership is crucial. When I think about leadership, it always comes back to the question, “If they take away your title, will they follow you?” The answer I come back to is, “If you’re an authentic leader, then yes they will.”

What I mean by being authentic is remaining true to who you are. People can tell if you’re being authentic. Just as leading from their title is often a trait of unsuccessful leaders, authenticity is a common characteristic of successful leaders. As an authentic leader, people will follow you out of respect. Even if you make a decision they may not like, they’ll still follow you and do their best, because they’ll believe your decision comes from an honest place.

To me, authenticity is why coach centric leaders are successful. Coaching starts by focusing on your core, or who you are. If a person leads from their core, their values are intact. Their focus is not clouded by a selfish need for attention, praise, or the limelight. In addition, authenticity allows you to develop the individual leadership style you’re most comfortable with, because that style reflects who you are. By leading from their core, not their title, coach centric leaders use their authenticity to motivate and inspire others to maximize their potential.

So, for anyone wondering how they can lead successfully, the first question you may want to ask yourself is, “If they take away your title…will they follow you?”

Zack Lemelle
Managing Partner, Corporate Engagement Services
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
iPECleadership.com

So, what builds trust?

For starters, a strong foundation for trust develops when you expose your limitations, own your actions, and admit that you can’t get everything done all by yourself. In fact, vulnerability and humility have the effect of gathering people together to shape meaning and motivate change.

Trust is also built by a demonstration of our values. When leaders stay true to their values, and their actions are aligned with what they say, confidence begins to build in the people they lead. In essence, these leaders develop powerful vulnerability, which translates into demonstrated integrity — one of the very cornerstones for building trust.

In the Corporation for National & Community Service’s study, “Volunteering and Civic Life in America,” participants from various cities across the country were asked to rate their level of trust in their neighborhoods, public schools, corporations, and the media. While neighborhoods and public schools had the highest levels of trust, corporations and the media were shown to have much lower levels, revealing the tremendous opportunity that exists to connect with our communities and become trusted partners.

How do we break down barriers and build bridges in order to capitalize on this opportunity and formulate trust? In other words, how do we creatively form relationships on our way to successfully building trusted community networks?

Being well-versed in your beliefs, and in your craft, allows you to embody your values and develop strategic relationships with the people and organizations within your communities. From these relationships, your academic organization can build a trusted portfolio of business and community network partners.

So, spend some time with a bit of self-reflection on these seemingly simple, yet powerful, questions:

-  How well versed am I in who I am?

-  How well versed am I in my craft?

To be sure, listening is also key, as is finding the commonality that exists between your organization and those within your community. Be bold and persistent in finding that commonality; it’s the fuel that will spark your ability to build networks of trust.

When you combine these elements together, you’ll also portray a sense of confidence  – confidence in your yourself and in your mission. With trust and confidence, and community alignment, you’ll be amazed by what you’ll be able to accomplish together.

Again, powerful vulnerability, that sense that you don’t have all the answers, that you can’t go it alone, is what paves the way for building, and sustaining, these all-important networks of trust. While they help to provide us with the strategic levers necessary to catapult the trajectory of our organization to an entirely new level (e.g., increasing its capacity for change, propelling its growth), perhaps most important of all is our shared ability to deliver a positive social return to our communities.

What do you see as possible within your organization, and across your community, by tapping into your own powerful vulnerability? And, how can you be a disciple in building communities of trust?

Paul Garro
Executive Director
City Year San Antonio

*The image above is an actual painting by Paul Garro, which not only reflects his artistic talents and immense creativity; it’s also a very personal reflection of his heart-centered approach as a servant leader.

There’s been a lot of focus on the power of “why,” in terms of understanding one’s motivation and what truly drives individuals to go after whatever it is they’re seeking.

I’d like to take a different look at ‘why’ in terms of understanding, well…anything! To do this, let’s be clear about what we want from ‘why.’ (Say that 10x fast!)

We don’t want to use ‘why’ to make people justify themselves.  Someone shouldn’t be left thinking, “Why do I have to explain myself?” Instead, they should be thinking, “How can I explain myself?”

The first question represents someone in a defensive posture, while the second is about building understanding – and that’s what we want from ‘why.’

‘Why’ – when asked from a place of curiosity – can create great understanding and bridge immense gaps. A curious ‘why’ gets someone considering, “so what led me to think, feel, or do that?” “Hmmm…why did I approach it that way?”

Such curiosity can offer great self-awareness and insight.

And yet, all too often, we assume we know ‘why.’ We fill in the gaps of the story with our own version of ‘why,’ which, coincidentally, reinforces whatever view we already had. Funny how that works out!

So, next time you’re a little confounded by what’s going on, or when you feel yourself getting a little worked-up (at yourself or someone else), start asking yourself:

- Why do I think that’s the case?
- Why am I interpreting things this way?
- What’s leading me to draw that conclusion?
- What’s making me feel this way?
- Why does it have to be this way?
- Why couldn’t it be different?

But beware: you may just stumble onto a light bulb moment of deeper meaning and clearer understanding.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

I was rapt watching the coverage on TV recently, reporting on the manhunt in Boston for “Suspect #2.”  Flipping through the channels on my remote, I was trying to see if any station had markedly different coverage than the other, but the information being reported was basically the same.

While contemplating what happened, and analyzing my thoughts, I found myself trying to comprehend the “why” of it all. What leads people to their actions?  What’s the energy or motivating factor behind it all?

I wish, like everyone else probably does, that there were simple answers. There aren’t. It’s not as if simple answers would bring solace to the victims of tragedies like this latest one in Boston; perhaps it’s just my way of trying to comprehend something that I find completely incomprehensible.

What can we take away from the Boston Marathon bombings, the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, the Aurora movie theater massacre, and too many other attacks, that can give us hope?

One thing I can point to is the bravery of those first responders and civilians who run to the trouble and not from it. They see someone who needs help and literally risk their lives to offer that aid. They pull twisted wreckage off the victims. They offer medical treatment as best as they can. They carry the wounded away from the danger. They comfort those who have lost someone dear to them.

Those not directly impacted, or who are hundreds and thousands of miles away, offer support by donating food and clothing, giving blood, raising funds for charities, and standing together to show unity and sympathy.

Closer to home, I remember the days and weeks after 9-11. We all seemed to be a bit nicer to each other. A little more tolerant and forgiving. More caring.

You and I alone aren’t going to solve all of the world’s “challenges.” We can, however, make our little parts of it better. Let’s try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. To smile more. To tell those we love that we do. Help a neighbor or a stranger. Let’s make an effort to just be nicer. Everyday.

I’m committed to it. And if you are too, I’d love you to share what you experience through this commitment in the “Comments” section below.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

I will freely admit that being forced to read Shakespeare in high school wasn’t exactly something I thoroughly relished, but I do recall that The Bard’s Julius Caesar was one that I didn’t mind. (Hey, I was a kid; my tastes are more refined, now!)

There’s a great line in the play. Act I, Scene 2 – Cassius is trying to convince Brutus that Caesar has to be stopped from becoming the ruler of Rome. Cassius expresses that he doesn’t want to serve under Caesar, but would rather Brutus join in the conspiracy to assassinate him.

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

That line was written over 400 years ago, yet it’s still powerful. You see, Cassius is saying that it’s man’s actions and decisions that dictate their situations - not fate.

Fortunately, assassination is much less acceptable today than in ancient Rome, but the message still holds true. We’re not victims of some unseen force (the stars). We’re the ones responsible for being the change we desire (ourselves).

We often hear how something was “just in the cards” or “meant to happen.” Sometimes it’s easier just to think the stars caused it. That’s tantamount to throwing up our hands and saying, “Oh, well.”

It’s not what happens that matters; it’s what we do about what happens that’s important. Unplanned situations and challenges are always going to arise. Heck, that’s the fun of living. It’d be a pretty boring world if we always knew what was going to transpire. The real satisfaction comes from boldly facing and overcoming the situations and obstacles we encounter. Having a plan, setting goals, and monitoring our progress is vital, and so is being able to adapt on the fly and not succumbing to the notion that things are out of our control.

As Cassius also said, “Men…are masters of their fates.”

How do you make a conscious choice, everyday, to be the change that you desire?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

1 = 1
24 = 1
1,440 = 1
86,400 = 1

Did you get it right away? Need a clue?

OK, here’s a hint…take it one day at a time. Got it now?  No?

Well, as much as I would enjoy making you rack your brain to try to figure this one out, my space here is limited, so I’ll just tell you.

They’re all elements of one day. 

One day consists of 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds. That’s all we get each day. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, the numbers are the same for all of us.

We can’t buy more time. 
We can’t stop those seconds and minutes from passing. 
And, we certainly can’t get back the time that has already passed.

What we can do, though, is take advantage of the time we do have. Let’s not stare at the ticking clock and watch time slip away, like a kid waiting for the school day to end. Instead, let’s savor every moment. Make the most of every minute. And, when the time comes to put our heads down on our pillows at night, know that we made the most of the day.

So, when you wake up tomorrow, how will you live so that each second is more meaningful than the last?  

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Catch more of  Luke’s insight into happiness, leadership, and success, on March 28th, 7 p.m. (Eastern)/6 p.m. (Central)/4 p.m. (Pacific), during The Positivity Project. This eight week series features live interviews with the world’s most knowledgeable experts in positivity and change.     

For me, those days are over but never forgotten. The old “cannon of an arm” may have a good throw or two left in it, even though time – and tendonitis – have taken its toll. One thing that will never change is my GREAT LOVE for the game. As a fan of the Bronx Bombers, I’ve had the good fortune of rooting for a World Series contender most of my adult life. But, the great thing about opening day is that it doesn’t matter who your team is – on opening day, they’re in first place. There is hope and optimism. There is the chance they will prove all their opponents wrong and become the champs– well, except the Cubs, of course.

One of the aspects of sports I love the most is how, in a sense, it’s a microcosm of life. Whether an individual sport – like golf, or a team sport – like baseball, sports represent life. Practicing your craft, and really honing in on your skills. Motivating yourself and others. Being part of a team. Coaching others to help them advance themselves and the team. Challenging yourself to be better than you were yesterday.

What is so exciting is that each day we have the opportunity to make it our “Opening Day.” Our day when the slate is wiped clean and a new season of self-growth and abundance can begin. To step onto our metaphorical fields and not worry about what others think or say, but to do what we came out here to do – to play the game to the best of our ability and to live our purpose with fire and passion!

How will you make today your Opening Day?  Post a comment, I’d love to hear about it.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Well, actually, I’m not. A good friend of mine, however, is a BIG fan of their music. In fact, it’s a running joke between us. In our youth, whenever I would be over at his place and one of their songs came on, I would suggest he play some Gregorian chants or a compilation of wild animal fight sounds, instead. Over the years, the good-natured teasing has simply become a knowing nod and a laugh from each of us. To his credit, his support of their music is unwavering. It’s something he really enjoys.

In our younger, more formative years, there was a lot of pressure to fit in, socially– to listen to the “popular” music, watch the same shows, wear the hottest styles, (as heralded by our mainstream culture), and to hang with the cool clique. These are just the minor aspects of social pressure! As we grow older, it can be challenging, at times, to be an individual and to remain true to oneself, still clinging to societal standards. In becoming (overly) concerned with how others view us, we lose sight of who we really are. 

Fitting-in ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be!

Each of our own “weird little worlds” and eccentricities make us unique. These aren’t effects to hide behind; rather they’re characteristics to revel in–characteristics which make us who we are, and bring us (and hopefully others!) much joy and laughter. Just as we should delight-in, share, and celebrate our own uniqueness, we ought to allow, encourage, and invite others to do the very same. Afterall, doing so creates an immense amount of fun and fulfillment, and provides us the opportunity to enjoy what we truly enjoy.  

How has embracing who you really are, and sharing that with others, allowed you to enjoy what you truly enjoy?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

They’ve been the subject of nursery rhymes, American literature, and stoic symbolism. Mockingbirds do sing – they repeat the songs of other species. This “many-tongued mimic” is also very territorial, perched high above the commotion of the world, as part of their defense mechanism. Now, I’m not going to rehash any evolutionary theories, but a smart little birdie once tweeted:

All the answers in life lie within you…

You see, the mockingbird is channeling its default tendencies — you know, being a creature of habit. I, like any human being, manage to do the same. Coaching, however, has taught me to be more aware of these “tendencies” as well as how to self-coach. That’s right, coaching may be about helping others reach their potential, but it raises YOUR own consciousness too; that is, your thoughts, your (re)actions, and your personal brand of “being.” In one fell swoop, I’ve reached the halfway point in my Coach Training Program, and have become quite fond of this new “nesting place.”   

Yep, you can really gain a new perspective from up here; a 360° view blossoming with intuition, listening skills, thought provoking questions, and indisputable solutions. And much like the mockingbird “mocks” its surroundings most ardently, a good coach “matches” the client’s energy. This works because birds of a feather flock together. The coach builds authenticity and trust during the conversation, and the client can relate, relax, and release internal blocks, a practice coaches refer to as “clearing.” 

In fact, I helped coach one of the most energetic people in my training group. How did I keep them focused? I met them where they were at- their mood, their mannerisms, and their essence. I dug in my claws, went from my natural state of “quiet” to squawking along with them- bubbly, smiling, and hanging onto their every word. I clued into their values, circled back, and they found the solution that works best. It was organic, easy, and fun!  

After all, I know the answers truly lie within.
I was just a conduit for them to find their anthem… to sing beautifully!   

Now, if only I could kill two birds with one stone (no pun intended). Namely, continue to channel my inner “Sasha Fierce” while mimicking the powerhouse voice of Beyoncé. Okay, the latter is a far stretch, but the “fierce” in me is not afraid to dance freely, spread her wings, fall down, and soar again. I’m finding a better balance, like a bird on a wire.

And, if you’re interested in coach training so that you too can soar as a coach, be sure to mention a “little birdie” sent you! Tweet, tweet… 

Christie Koenigsmark
Marketing Assistant
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching

So with that in mind, some reflection…

Over the past few weeks, I realized that this very process was playing out for me. I have a good friend who’s been looking to make some very important changes for herself, in terms of self-leadership and her ability to connect with others.  As I was observing this situation and relationship, I became aware that she wasn’t making the progress that she wanted to be making, and that the support I’d been offering (at her request) wasn’t going to help get her there, either.  I was a bit frustrated as we talked, and realized that we both expected that she’d be further along by now.

As I often do when expectations don’t match up, I recognized this as a sign or a symptom and started to reverse engineer – from the outcome I’m seeing to what may be the cause.  Some of the lingering issues for my friend remained and I began to recognize I was actually being too supportive. Sometimes it’s good to let someone fall on their rear end.

Seeking Other Perspectives

How did I finally get to this conclusion and come up with a new means of support (which she agreed to)?  I sought out other perspectives. I sought out the different perspectives from people who I knew would have different ideas and approaches…people who had different values and strengths…people who I knew could challenge and broaden my perspective. 

First came awareness. And then came a plan to increase my discernment – to help me more effectively understand what was going on.

Consider a situation for yourself that isn’t measuring up to expectations. What are the points you’re aware of? What are ways you could broaden and deepen your awareness? What’s your role in the situation or relationship? What’s working? Why? What’s not? And, why might that be?

Last point. Awareness kicks off the process. Next comes understanding to gain more perspective and information. And then comes reflection and discernment. However, it does NOT stop there. Until you take action on what you’ve come to understand, you won’t integrate what you’ve learned – and you won’t, therefore, expand your consciousness. 

And so, one final question to add to the slew of questions above. What specific next steps are you going to take with the situation you’ve just considered?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)