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March 25th, 2011
When a person decides to make a positive change, and then resumes life by returning to his or her original environment, usually one of three paths will unfold:
1. The individual, faced with pressure from their surroundings, will revert to old patterns, foregoing the change.
2. The environment will change around the individual until the surroundings match the change introduced.
3. The individual will not be able to remain in their environment and will find a new one, either voluntarily or involuntary. If voluntarily, it’s because the individual recognizes that the change cannot persist in that environment, for any number of reasons. If involuntarily, it’s often because the old environment essentially didn’t welcome them back and kicked them out. The important decision the individual must make here is what to do in the new environment in which he or she lands.
So, I ask you, how well are YOU planning for these scenarios? What can you do to best set yourself up for changing your environment with Path #2, or choosing something new with Path #3?
Only Path #1 stands out as unacceptable to most people who desire change. Yet, it seems nine out of ten times, that’s exactly the path that unfolds. Why on earth do we let that happen?
Unfortunately, it has everything to do with human nature’s good old friend, Frankie Fear (thanks Rocky!). When faced with change, we think about what we might be losing or leaving behind and how little we know about what’s coming next. It makes it really, really easy to revert to old patterns.
We find ourselves keeping those same old commiserating companions in the workplace; the companions with whom we keep on gossiping and complaining, instead of fixing and solving.
Slowly, but surely, we begin to think thoughts like, “Well, maybe I don’t need to change that much. Maybe things aren’t so bad the way they are.” It’s a way for your fears to keep you from moving out of your comfort zone, as they force you to “play small” or “play it safe” in the world.
The next thing you know, you’re right back to where you started, when you first decided that you needed a change.
We now understand the scenarios for change, and why so many of us choose to resist making a much needed change, but the real question is: What’s a coach to do?
We’ll explore that question in next Friday’s blog post, “What Would a Coach Do to Facilitate Change?“.
Until next time, Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, Add new tag, attitude, change, choice, coaching skills, encouragement, finding purpose, intentions, iPEC Coaching, life coach training, life coaching, new perspective, opportunity, self-improvement, success
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
1 Comment »
March 11th, 2011
It’s Friday, and Fridays are a great time to set-up for next week. Achievement is fueled by focus; so, ready.… set…. focus!
• What are your top three priorities right now?
• Why are those the priorities? (Hint: think in terms of aligning your priorities with your goals and vision.)
• What are your immediate, next three steps for each of them?
• What’s needed to take those steps?
• Which one will you do first? Next? And then?
• What will you do to minimize distractions and place new items to the side?
• What’s your time frame to complete these priorities?
And now… get’er done! C’mon! Stop letting moss grow under those feet. Go, go, go!
Go… Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: Add new tag, choice, coaching skills, expectations, intentions, opportunity, personal achievement, self-improvement
Posted in Business Development, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Upcoming Events & Workshops
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March 3rd, 2010
In our society today, “connections” is a huge buzz word. If you are connected, you are someone who has access to and influence with the “right” people. The “right” people will vary depending on certain situations that arise. It is the connections you have and the amount of influence you have with them, along with your belief in yourself that will provide strength, security, and the means for creating abundance in all areas of your life.
Real and meaningful connections are those which you can call on at a moment’s notice. These vital connections provide non-judgmental support, assistance, creativity and knowledge. Being connected whether in business or personally, provides a sense of ease in your life.
It may be said that connections equal power. It may also be said that connections equal life.
As we know from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, one of the six basic needs is the need for socialization – love, friendship and comradeship. This is a need for love and belonging. This is a need for basic human contact. In fact, this is a need for connection.
The real beauty and value of connections is the way they make you feel. Connections provide security, freedom, opportunity, friendship and grace. Real connections make you feel capable, unstoppable and more expansive than you might otherwise feel as an individual.
Here are 7 tips for making and nurturing real connections in life:
1. Be yourself. Be real. Pretense in any situation can be dangerous. When you meet someone, simply be yourself. You may choose to put your best foot forward and be “your best self” and that is perfect. People who resonate with your personality and energy will be drawn to you. You will find that being yourself at all times, makes for a life filled with ease, grace, and less stress.
2. Be likeable. You know there is a part of you that is truly likeable, engaging and attractive. There is a part of you that people are drawn to and want to be around. If you take stock of how you are “being”, you will know whether you are being charming or uninviting. Always “check your attitude” at the door and choose to be the likeable you!
3. Express gratitude freely. It is said that you learn much about an individual’s character by how she speaks of others. Know that words have power. Any thanks or praise, that you can give about another person gives power to everyone in the transaction. Power is heightened for the individual you share it with, the individual you share it about, and also for you. It is always appropriate to express gratitude.
4. Be present. No matter where you are or what you are doing, give yourself freely to the people that surround you, the task at hand, and the individuals who will be affected by your actions, words, and presence. Put aside the chatter of your mind, clear your plate, and simply be present. Being present is a gift for you and everyone else touched in the moment.
5. Make new connections at every opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have time for another person in your life, think again. There is always room for someone with good energy, an open spirit, and the “right” connections. When you choose to expand the circles of your life, you are choosing to expand yourself. Expansion is exciting, empowering, exhilarating, and fun. You never know where a connection will lead, because you never know who or what anyone knows until you open up to them. The next person you meet may be holding the answer to your questions. She may be the perfect connection for you. Get connected.
6. Reach out and touch someone. The human touch contains more energy than any word, thought or material item. Touching someone makes an instant connection. They will pay closer attention to you, they will feel more a part of the conversation, and they will feel that you care about them. A touch can be a small gesture like a handshake or a hand placed on their arm or shoulder. A touch can also be a bigger gesture like a hug, a kiss or holding hands. No matter the length or intensity, a touch commits your energy to the other person and creates an immediate physical bond. This will create, enhance and strengthen your intellectual and emotional bond and supply meaning to the conversation, the topic and your relationship. Perhaps above all, touching feels good.
7. Use wisely your power of choice. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in each day. How do you use yours? Are you honoring yourself and your time? If you do not have a big, huge “why” for how you are spending your time and who you are sharing it with, and if you are not enjoying yourself, do something else. Seriously, find other people to hang around with, do business with and live with. Move if you have to. Physically move from your space, whether this means taking two steps back or moving to another community. The connections of your life matter. Find something and someone you completely love. Find something and someone who makes your heart sing. Find something and someone who inspires you. When you do, you will know the beauty and joy of real connections. Today is not a dress rehearsal. It’s your life.
Remember this: YOU decide who your connections are. YOU get to choose. Choose to create and nurture connections that serve you. Choose connections that make you feel good. And always, always, choose to enjoy the process. Now, that’s Powerful!
……………………………………………………
About Sue Urda:
Sue Urda is Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, an Award-Winning Author, Speaker and Inspirer. She is a two-time honoree on Inc. Magazine’s list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies and has learned the secret of living from her heart. Through Powerful You! Inc, Sue designs venues for women to connect with each other and themselves. You are invited to join Sue’s network, regional and national events: Women Living Consciously Conference, Transformation 2010 National Tour and Powerful You! Women’s Network. Visit Sue’s website at: www.powerfulyou.com
Tags: Add new tag, attitude, choice, connections, creativity, encouragement, finding purpose, gratitude, intentions, Networking, Powerful You!, values, workforce engagement
Posted in Networking
17 Comments »
January 1st, 2010
We’re about to see yet another year pass on the calendar, and a new one begin. And my guess is, you’re about to make another resolution you’re not going to keep. Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is the definition of insanity! So let’s try something different this year. Let’s get serious.
1. First, let’s make a promise to yourself.
I’m asking you to make a commitment to yourself. A promise to yourself to go after that change that’s been in the back of your mind, perhaps for the past year, but likely for much longer than that. What dreams or goals have been burning beneath the surface that you would love to go after? What promise do you want to make to yourself for the coming year? Make a promise… and make it a big one!
2. Second, let’s apply some peer pressure.
Peer pressure can have a huge advantage; it doesn’t need to be a negative. Tell the promise you have made to yourself to at least 10 people. That’s right, I’m asking you to not keep this promise to yourself. I’m asking you to put it out there for others to see, to hold yourself accountable, and to ask them to help you follow through. When you state your intention to others, it strongly encourages and compels you to follow through. They will inadvertently keep you accountable just because you don’t want to disappoint them. State your intentions, your promise, to a group of likeminded achievers, and you’ll have a fan club in your back pocket who will keep you charged up, who will re-energize you if your momentum wanes, and who will remind you of your promise to yourself. (Need a fan club? Go to Facebook and tell the iPEC fans your promise. Believe me, they’ll be happy to keep you accountable!)
3. And last, but definitely not least, let‘s add some gratitude!
When you show appreciation on a daily basis, it puts a smile on your face. It gives you energy that will motivate you to keep your promise -and that can keep you running for months on end. Gratitude fills you up with powerful, anabolic energy. Energy that builds, that rejuvenates, and that drives purpose.
It’s been iPEC’s purpose - actually it’s been our promise - to help others live empowered lives, recognizing that they always have a choice, and that they always have the ability to create massive, powerful change.
This year, IPEC promises to help tens of thousands of people through coaching- and we want you to make sure that we follow through on our promise! As part of this promise we’ll make sure that our students, and in turn their clients, learn how to make coaching part of their everyday approach to life. We promise to help more and more audiences, individuals, and organizations understand the dramatic impact that coaching can have on their lives and careers. We promise to help those struggling with change understand that coaching is the answer. We’re changing the world, in partnership with our coaches, one person at a time!
Make your promise, and together let’s make change happen.
Luke
P.S. And becoming a coach isn’t a bad idea either!
Tags: achievement, Add new tag, attitude, change, creativity, encouragement, expectations, finding purpose, gratitude, intentions, new perspective, opportunity, values
Posted in Current Affairs, Law of Being, Life Potentials
1 Comment »
December 18th, 2009
Coaching is more than a profession; it’s a way of living. Coaching offers you a new attitude, perspective and valuable skills that improve the quality of your life dramatically.
One way coaching does this is through improving communication. Most of our frustrations are the result of poor communications that lead to misunderstandings and mismatched expectations – both our own and others’ expectations. Think about the last argument, disappointment, or conflict you had… how much of that could have been more easily solved (if not altogether avoided) with clear communication right from the start?
All of these things can mean that our relationships aren’t as strong as we would like them to be and can be. And relationships are the key to success these days. A multitude of articles from O magazine to HR Manager to the NY Times continuously point to relationships as the key factor for satisfaction in both the workplace and at home. Building better relationships with co-workers will help you look forward to work and approach it with greater energy which will propel you into success!
Why is this relevant to coaching?
Coaching not only shows you how to bring out the best in people but it also shows you how to communicate more clearly. The fundamental skill for coaching effectively is communication and understanding of oneself and others. Communication is one of the cornerstones to how we relate to everyone – including ourselves!
So, how will coaching really improve your life… dramatically?
1. Coaching creates more self-awareness
Both by being coached or going through the coach training you will become conscious to what makes you YOU — through discovering and understanding the meaning of your beliefs, thought patterns, perceptions, emotions and know how. A coach is a guide – who is self-confident, patient, insightful, and understanding of others.
2. Coaching cuts through our communication barriers
By becoming more self-aware we can see more clearly, as if veils of misperceptions and misunderstanding are finally lifted. This generates insight around expectations and therefore our communications become more transparent and match our real intentions (and not our interpretations!). As we become clearer we also help others to be clearer in what they really mean.
While these are just 2 of many aspects of coaching, they contribute significantly to healthy, sympathetic and energetic relationships. Through this, new levels of cooperation, collaboration and most importantly understanding are possible.
You can be a better leader, friend, spouse, executive, teacher, parent… And you can even call yourself a coach!
This is why coaching is the profession of choice for so many: Because it isn’t just a profession, it’s a way of living!
PS> And this is really just one set of ways that coaching improves your life… come learn what else becoming a coach can do… Learn more by clicking here.
Tags: Add new tag, become a coach, change, coaching, coaching skills, finding purpose, judging others, life potential, new perspective, personal achievement, possibilities
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Life Potentials
20 Comments »
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