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April 25th, 2013
The past several days have been quite eye opening. 
I was rapt watching the coverage on TV recently, reporting on the manhunt in Boston for “Suspect #2.” Flipping through the channels on my remote, I was trying to see if any station had markedly different coverage than the other, but the information being reported was basically the same.
While contemplating what happened, and analyzing my thoughts, I found myself trying to comprehend the “why” of it all. What leads people to their actions? What’s the energy or motivating factor behind it all?
I wish, like everyone else probably does, that there were simple answers. There aren’t. It’s not as if simple answers would bring solace to the victims of tragedies like this latest one in Boston; perhaps it’s just my way of trying to comprehend something that I find completely incomprehensible.
What can we take away from the Boston Marathon bombings, the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, the Aurora movie theater massacre, and too many other attacks, that can give us hope?
One thing I can point to is the bravery of those first responders and civilians who run to the trouble and not from it. They see someone who needs help and literally risk their lives to offer that aid. They pull twisted wreckage off the victims. They offer medical treatment as best as they can. They carry the wounded away from the danger. They comfort those who have lost someone dear to them.
Those not directly impacted, or who are hundreds and thousands of miles away, offer support by donating food and clothing, giving blood, raising funds for charities, and standing together to show unity and sympathy.
Closer to home, I remember the days and weeks after 9-11. We all seemed to be a bit nicer to each other. A little more tolerant and forgiving. More caring.
You and I alone aren’t going to solve all of the world’s “challenges.” We can, however, make our little parts of it better. Let’s try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. To smile more. To tell those we love that we do. Help a neighbor or a stranger. Let’s make an effort to just be nicer. Everyday.
I’m committed to it. And if you are too, I’d love you to share what you experience through this commitment in the “Comments” section below.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: adversity, change, perspective, power of choice
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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April 5th, 2013
 Although the ‘Ides of March’ have passed, it’s never too late to find meaning in it. For those who may need a refresher, March 15th is the Ides of March – the day Julius Caesar was warned about by a soothsayer. It would be the day he was killed.
I will freely admit that being forced to read Shakespeare in high school wasn’t exactly something I thoroughly relished, but I do recall that The Bard’s Julius Caesar was one that I didn’t mind. (Hey, I was a kid; my tastes are more refined, now!)
There’s a great line in the play. Act I, Scene 2 – Cassius is trying to convince Brutus that Caesar has to be stopped from becoming the ruler of Rome. Cassius expresses that he doesn’t want to serve under Caesar, but would rather Brutus join in the conspiracy to assassinate him.
“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
That line was written over 400 years ago, yet it’s still powerful. You see, Cassius is saying that it’s man’s actions and decisions that dictate their situations - not fate.
Fortunately, assassination is much less acceptable today than in ancient Rome, but the message still holds true. We’re not victims of some unseen force (the stars). We’re the ones responsible for being the change we desire (ourselves).
We often hear how something was “just in the cards” or “meant to happen.” Sometimes it’s easier just to think the stars caused it. That’s tantamount to throwing up our hands and saying, “Oh, well.”
It’s not what happens that matters; it’s what we do about what happens that’s important. Unplanned situations and challenges are always going to arise. Heck, that’s the fun of living. It’d be a pretty boring world if we always knew what was going to transpire. The real satisfaction comes from boldly facing and overcoming the situations and obstacles we encounter. Having a plan, setting goals, and monitoring our progress is vital, and so is being able to adapt on the fly and not succumbing to the notion that things are out of our control.
As Cassius also said, “Men…are masters of their fates.”
How do you make a conscious choice, everyday, to be the change that you desire?
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: adversity, change, finding purpose, possibilities, power of choice
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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November 14th, 2012
It’s been just over two weeks since Hurricane Sandy devastated the northeast, particularly New Jersey, New York, and parts of Connecticut.
As I’ve seen the pictures and heard the stories of so many families and individuals impacted by this horrific storm, my heart has literally hurt at times – and been filled with warmth and joy at others.
Some families, including those within the iPEC community, have lost everything. And in the same breath, I’ve heard from some of them, and others greatly impacted by the storm, that they’ve been moved by the outpouring of support and compassion from those they know – and by the amazing generosity from those they don’t.
Thank you to those of you who have already begun serving, volunteering, and helping in any way. To those who you’ve already helped, the people being served have said it is priceless, and has restored their hope just when they needed it most.
While the storm may have literally passed, the recovery has yet to really even begin, which is what most compelled me to write this blog.
We Are On An Emotional Journey
However you’ve been affected by the storm, consider the emotions that have come up for you.
If you’re feeling that you’ve had so much taken from you for so little reason, then mourn your losses fully. Don’t try to move on just yet. Feel the sorrow, the grief. Empty yourself out and let it flow. It’s okay. You can’t let go and move forward if you’re still holding on.
If you’re feeling angry, and even infuriated, over your circumstances, consider how you’re going to use those feelings to your advantage, to your benefit, instead of letting them burn you up. It makes sense to be angry over a great number of things – over the losses, over the seeming senselessness, over the recovery or relief, or even over the basic help that can’t come quick enough.
Anger gets things moving again; it stirs you up. But don’t let it own you or turn you into something you’re not. Instead, become its master, and decide how you’re going to use that inner storm to drive you forward.
If you’re feeling saddened by these events, and you weren’t directly affected, consider what lies behind that sadness. How much of what you’re feeling relates to sorrow for others? What parts of it relate to reflections on your own life? And what is the sadness truly about?
The answers to these questions may hold great insight into, and understanding of, your values. They may help to reveal what you’re most grateful for in your life. Perhaps your sadness triggers regrets of things not yet said or done. Consider the deeper message; don’t run from it or assume it’s only because of the events in front of you. Then, consider what you want to do with that message.
If you weren’t directly impacted, and your heart hurts as mine does for what others have, and are, going through, then consider what you’ll do to serve others, to help them mourn their losses, to help them find a purpose in all of this– or to get them in motion again.
Moving Forward
Whatever you’re feeling, know that you’re feeling it; know that it’s where you are right now – and likely what you need to feel in order to move on. You’ve had significant change and transition thrust upon you, and pausing to feel, to reflect, to adjust, and to give yourself that time is critically important and necessary – even if that time is a second’s pause, or in the back of your mind, while you do whatever you need to take care of yourself and your loved ones.
For everyone else, please keep in mind how much the little things mean, and how deeply powerful they are, at times like this. It’s the extra moment spent deeply listening to someone in need. It’s the extra oomph you put into that hug. It’s the very act of spending your most precious resource – your time – in service to others.
To those in our community who’ve been impacted, our hearts go out to you. Please contact us and let us know how we can help.
Sincerely,
Luke
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: adversity, change, emotional grief, finding purpose, hurricane sandy
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
1 Comment »
June 20th, 2012
Let’s face it: life isn’t a straight line from A to B. As the saying goes, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Adversity comes in all shapes and sizes. Every day, we encounter obstacles and roadblocks. Some are little bumps in the road and some are giant pot holes. And some days, roads are closed and we need to find an alternate route. In our personal development, much like commuting, we can choose to sit in traffic and make no progress, or we can break away from our familiar path and explore new avenues to reach our objectives.
An important step in overcoming adversity is to recognize that which we’re passionate about and tap into that passion. To be able to stay in that space gives us a different energy to combat the negative energies that are present in our lives. Tapping into that space of passion gives us a sense of vibrancy, health, and well-being, even if only temporary. And we can use that passion to fuel, and create, our success.
When people are overcoming adversity, a critically important aspect is ‘progress.’ We put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves when we say, “Well, I want to be this ideal “X,” and then it becomes very frustrating to measure ourselves up against that ideal. Instead, we should measure ourselves by progress. What are the steps that I can take today? What is it that I can feel? This method allows us to continually build those small wins against which we can easily chart our progress.
Each small success, those 500 extra feet we’re moving forward (instead of being stuck in our own traffic jam), gives us a sense of accomplishment upon which we can build. When we incorporate the things we’re passionate about, that fire that powers us (understanding that each small victory is a step in the process), we can develop some momentum. And that momentum is what helps to drive us to those places we ultimately want to reach.
It’s a long ride, but we aren’t going to get very far idling in traffic.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: adversity, attitude, change, finding purpose, motivation, new perspective
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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September 8th, 2010
By Guest Blogger Karen S. Richter
I am so grateful for how coaching has enhanced my internal capacity to handle whatever life hands me. So much so, that I want to share the amazing experience and resulting self-awareness, inner peace, and happiness with others.
Several years ago, I was in a place where many parents find themselves – feeling pulled in multiple directions, and living on autopilot. I had too little time and energy to devote to all the conflicting priorities in my life, and ended up feeling a bit inadequate at them all.
My Human Resources role drastically changed on September 11, 2001. Through helping our employees (our offices were across the street from the World Trade Center), I got a glimpse of what it was like to truly help others – to have a significant impact on their lives. It was an amazing experience. I felt so alive! I loved being able to help others in such a big way.
I worked with a life coach to address my feelings of frustration and inadequacy, and to identify ways to continue to feel that value of truly helping others. I got clear on my priorities and began living according to my values. As I experienced the transformational powers of coaching first-hand, I realized that this was the way to help people live their lives to their fullest potential. I attended iPEC training and learned the coaching process that allowed me to see things in a much more positive light and completely changed my life. I realized my passion was not to just live my own life to the fullest, feeling fulfilled as a parent, wife, friend, etc., but to help others find that same fulfillment and inner peace in their own lives. I decided to pursue a career in coaching, and founded Cohesive Outcomes, a company dedicating to enriching the lives of parents through coaching and outdoor adventure retreats.
The proof of how much the coaching process enhanced my internal capacity to handle all that life throws at me came when I was faced with a shocking personal tragedy. I was able to handle the situation with much more grace and ease than I ever imagined, due to what I had learned through coaching. My husband was shot in the face in a random act of violence. Instead of feeling like the victim (“How could this happen to us?”), instead of feeling sorry for myself (“How can I cope with all the stresses of this situation?”), I was able to see all things I had to be grateful for (he’s alive, he’s going to fully recuperate, we’ve got access to great doctors, we have a network of wonderfully supportive family and friends). I realized I was not a victim of my circumstances, but in control of my reactions and resulting situations. I began to live with an amazing calmness, knowing that I was able to live life on my terms, and actually create the life of my dreams.
I continue to be thankful of how coaching has enriched my life. Every day, I’m able to more clearly see the abundance in my life. I find ways to spend time enjoying all the things I have to be thankful for. I’ve stopped using up my precious energy on negative things, or things I can’t change and instead find positive energy that allows me to focus on keeping my family and friends a priority. So much energy that I’ve been able to find enough to train and complete a full marathon – yep – 26.2 miles! And coaching has allowed me to find clarity in my life – to realize that my purpose is to help others. And that’s why I’m here – to help parents realize they can achieve balance and satisfaction in lives. And that people can, not only survive in tough times, but thrive!
About Karen Richter:
Karen S. Richter is a recent iPEC Graduate and loves helping others ‘find inner peace in parenthood’. As the owner of Cohesive Outcomes, LLC, Karen finds her own inner peace by getting outdoors to enjoy nature as often as possible, and living in her old (220+ years) farmhouse in Bucks County, PA with her husband, two children, 3 cats, and many chickens.
Tags: adversity, attitude, become a coach, coaching skills, finding purpose, personal achievement, training
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Guest Bloggers
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