Coaching Excellence blog

A Coaching Moment: Who Are You Being, Right Now?

January 25th, 2012

Every moment asks you to show up in some way.  Consider, right now, who are you being?  How are you showing up?

In coaching sessions, I regularly hear from clients and students about situations that have them stressed and frustrated.  These situations are holding them back, getting in their way, blocking their options, or just not listening to what they want.  At the moments when you’re really pushing and trying to get ahead and getting the results you’re seeking, who are you being?

Unfortunately, these people and situations, which are “in the way,” didn’t get the memo about getting out of your way and changing to be how you want them to be.  As my very wise, very short, very Italian uncle used to so eloquently say, “Fuggedaboudit!” In fact, in these moments with your clients, the classic, quintessential break-up line is actually true: It’s not them; it’s you!

So I repeat, every moment asks you to show up in some way.  You are energized, engaged, and hopefully resolved to make a big impact this year.  And so are others!  They want to achieve just like you do.  What they want, how they want to show up, and how they want to get things done is up to them.  You can’t change them.  You can change you and what you want, how you show up, how you get things done, and who you want to be, as you’re doing it all is entirely within your control.

Be proactive.  Be intentional. Think about how you want to show up – when things are rolling, when things get bumpy, when things get confusing, and when things get exciting!

And then support yourself with reminders.  I have a client, right now, who set up his smart phone calendar to ask, “Who are being, right now?” at 4 pm, every day.  What routines are you establishing to help you follow through and reinforce how you’ve decided to show up?

Live on Fire!  {… and set a few reminders to keep you on track too!}

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

A Call for Resolve, Not Resolutions

January 4th, 2012

Forgive me, as this post will be a bit longer than usual, but I needed to get some things out.
There’s a character in Ayn Rand’s reputed and much discussed work, Atlas Shrugged, named John Galt.  In the first half of the book, characters, out of despair, use John Galt’s name as a reason to give up (meaning only a mythological, made up person like Galt could answer, solve, or fix this situation).  The story reveals that Galt is a real person (“character”) and, ultimately, comes to symbolize the power and potential of the human mind.

Why am I telling you this?  To be honest, I hear a lot of despair and resignation in conversations today.  Whether it’s in the corporate, education, non-profit, health care, or law enforcement communities (or, frankly, in the general life arena too), I often hear people talk about what can’t be changed, what can’t be solved, and how little power they have to change things.

We see a gridlocked political system, a struggling and complex economy, a discouraged and disengaged workforce, and we begin to question what’s possible. These are situations that have been in the making for quite some time. Despite how hard these past few years have been on a great many people, it may prove that this period in time was very much needed.

We needed to question ourselves — and the process is still going on — which is why I’m writing this now.  The process is at a critical time.  We are at a time of great choice.  We can continue to despair.  We can be apathetic.  We can even get angry and frustrated, and yell about what “they” have done to this country and the world (whoever “they” is).  We can continue to howl at the moon – but other than possibly providing a much-needed stress release, where’s the howling getting you? Us?

So here we are, another New Year has arrived, and with it, possibly, a list of resolutions ready to go.  How many of those resolutions have you seen on your list before (…perhaps even year after year)?

What’s the real purpose behind the resolutions that you’ve made?

For those past resolutions that you may have checked off and accomplished, it was for this reason (and the same reason why the others may still be on your list): you were RESOLUTE.  Let Congress pass resolutions (assuming Congress actually passes anything these days); instead, we need to be resolved.

Resolute (as defined by Webster)
(1)    marked by firm determination
(2)    bold, steady

If you’re going to be marked by firm determination, if you’re going to be bold, then you’re likely driven by a great sense of purpose – a purpose that’s aligned with your values, your vision, and a far-reaching, inspiring goal.

When setting your sights this year, consider:

-    What impact do you want to have on your life, career, or business?
-    What impact might you want to have on the lives, careers, or businesses of others?
-    Who do you want to be as you make these impacts?
-    How do you want to infuse what you do with your values and strengths?
-    How do you want to unleash the power and potential of your true capacity?
-    What does this suggest for a big, inspiring, perhaps extraordinarily audacious goal?

And last, consider why this big goal or vision is extremely important to you. What does it say about you and the mark you want to make on your life or in the world?

Don’t just make a resolution; be resolute.

Consider that this year, you’re the entrepreneur, musician, artist, creator, innovator, activator, initiator, finisher, leader, and lover.  A resolute fire burns inside us all. Will you let it fuel you to greatness…and beyond?  Or will you let it burn you up?

We – as a community, society, and a country – need you.  It’s time to stop waiting, to come back out, to speak up, to get involved, to take action, to lead.

If you haven’t heard your own inner voice calling for greatness, then here it is.  I’m calling you out – loudly, directly, overtly, and passionately. Will you answer?

Please share your insights and what you’re resolved to accomplish, and be, this year.

If this message speaks to you, and puts words to something you’ve felt but haven’t yet said, share it widely.  If nothing else, consider what this means to you and to your life, and how you’ll show up in it from this point forward.

Let’s roll.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Each Moment is an Opportunity to Re-Invent Yourself

December 12th, 2011

Who are you today? Who do you want to be? We are so predictable sometimes, reacting as any other being would to a given circumstance. Being typical is typically boring. Your uniqueness will shine when you allow your true creative self to light a path before you.

Taking a step from the norm into the path of true self expression allows you to not only be unpredictable, but to share your true gift with the world.

This week, do something that is uniquely you!

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder,
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Victim or Scientist?

November 30th, 2011

“Why me?”

Just reading those words, you can almost feel the weight of this question.  It’s usually asked by a person who feels trapped and alone. More often than not, it also has a lot of victim energy floating around it.

“Why did this have to happen to me?”

“What could I have possibly done to deserve this?”

“How will I ever get my life back to the place where I was before this happened?”

When something unexpected happens, and we label it as bad or overwhelming, most of us tend to naturally ask these questions from a victim point of view.

Here comes the opportunity: the next time something unexpected happens in your life, and you feel the weight of the questions you typically ask yourself, recognize that weight. Then, ask yourself those same questions again, but do so with the energy of a scientist instead of a victim. Instead of putting all of that weight and victim energy behind each question, approach these questions from the standpoint that you may or may not have a literal answer. Be open to the fact that there might not be a visible answer right now –  and that’s okay.

Picture yourself in a lab coat, with spectacles and a Sigmund Freud look of curiosity on your face.

“Why did this happen to me? Hmmm…..”  Take down some notes that may lead you to better understand the possible lesson and/or opportunity at hand.

“What could I have possibly done to deserve this? Hmmm…. Maybe nothing? That’s interesting.” Then, take the next step to find a potential solution.

“How will I get my life back to the place where it was before this happened? Hmmm…” Write down potential steps to get you moving in the direction you’d prefer to be headed.

Anybody can be a victim; choose to be a scientist.

Enjoy the Ride!

Ryan M. Stanley, CPC
Social Media Guy
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Ryan Stanley is an iPEC graduate and received his CPC in August of 2009. He currently heads up the Social Media department at iPEC and also has his own coaching practice where he focuses on working with musicians and other individuals throughout the music industry.

How To Be Unreasonably Happy

November 14th, 2011

Life offers us millions of opportunities to judge. Every time we judge, we lower ourselves to the vibration of conflict. This is very unhealthy and will keep you unhappy.

You can be unreasonably happy by allowing yourself, when faced with an opportunity to judge, to simply let go of that urge and accept whatever is before you…as it is.

Why not try being unreasonably happy this week?

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder,
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)