Coaching Excellence blog

Why More Training & More Skills Aren’t The Answer

January 16th, 2013

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

A challenging situation is identified at work. A new goal and strategy is set to tackle this issue, gaps in strengths and competencies are identified, and training begins.

And yet, 6 to 12 months later, the impact and change you were looking for just isn’t there.

Whether in our classrooms with teachers or our corporations with executives and professionals, the difference doesn’t seem to be about strengths anymore.

Listen, I’m not saying you don’t need the ability (i.e. the competency) to get things done. Of course you do.

What I am saying is that giving someone the knowledge and skills doesn’t mean they will actually use those and actively contribute. And if they do, it doesn’t mean they will use this newfound knowledge and skills in a manner that advances the situation, project, or strategy.

Give conflict resolution skills to someone who always wants to be right, and you’ve now armed them with even more negotiating power that may not be well received by others. Give influential communication skills to someone who only has their own interest at heart and watch the politicking ramp up. Give new professional training, such as project management, to someone who is no longer engaged or committed and watch them get hired away!

Uncovering Motivations

It’s not about the skills. It’s about engagement, contribution, connection, values, and purpose. This is the reason why coaching has taken off as an integral part of nearly all development programs. Coaching provides integration – it allows individuals to connect to the material, sift through it in their own unique way, relate it to their specific situations, try it and reflect, and then try again.

Coaching (specifically, the Core Energy Coaching™ process), connects to who a person is, what their motivations are, how and why they perceive what they perceive, and how they, personally, can fully engage and perform at their best.  Training is a vehicle for development. And the development that’s needed now – to get ourselves and to get our teams to “play full out” – is not about skills; it’s about motivation, engagement, and connection (to others, to purpose, to goals, to a vision.)

Your people (and you can validate this with yourself) are capable of anywhere from 90 – 110% of what’s needed.

Establishing Meaning

People put their discretionary energy towards whatever they deem most meaningful to them. Development programs and the relationships between a leader and their team must establish that meaning.

If the work is meaningful (in the eyes of the person doing the work), and that meaning is not just “that it makes sense,” but is something they believe in and are committed to, watch out! Being a Coach Centric Leader enables you to make this connection with your team and helps them make this connection for themselves.

Let’s go.  It’s time to play full out!

Live (and Lead) on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Unexpected Lessons

December 19th, 2012

I have to confess — as much as I like well-acclaimed movies, I also happen to like those that are, shall we say, less than Oscar-worthy.  To come completely clean, I may like the latter movies even more. There’s something about their simplicity and humor, and the way in which they poke fun at life and concoct outrageous situations.

I was watching one of those movies on cable TV recently, and near the end, there was actually quite a poignant scene.  Even though this was a comedy and not meant to be taken too seriously, this message jumped off the screen at me.

One of the main characters is lamenting about her situation and her family; specifically, her husband.  She’s talking to a waiter, saying how she’s hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t come to this (“this,” referring to her running away from the issue at hand.)  The waiter jumps in and candidly asks, “Do you think that when you pray for your family to come together and be more connected, you just get zapped with the warm and fuzzies?  Or, do you think that life presents you with the opportunity (the moments) to show, to exhibit, TO BE more loving and understanding of one another?”

A similar comment follows regarding courage, which immediately conjured up images of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz.  Does the lion get zapped and then he has courage?  Or, is he presented with multiple opportunities to show that he already had the heart of a lion?

Now, think about your own life and how you may want to create change and perform even better.  Maybe you pray, or meditate, or work at it in a variety of ways.  At the end of the day, the change only comes when the opportunity presents itself for you to intrinsically demonstrate that it (change) is already alive inside of you.

We’re constantly preparing for that moment.  It’s not just going to happen overnight.  It’s not going to be handed to you. The first time that opportunity unfolds in front of you, it may not be ideal or optimal.  In fact, the very thing that you’re trying to change, or overcome, is going to come up, over and over and over again, in a series of “opportunities”  with increasing intensity designed to test you.

One of the most interesting aspects of coaching to me is just that — anticipating and rising up to those “test” moments, thereby helping a client plan for change, helping them find their motivation, and helping them be more conscious. Seeing a client intentionally plan AND RUN TOWARDS a challenging situation, working with new approaches and options, is an awesome sight!

Consider for yourself what you’ve been hoping or praying for or trying to change. I guarantee the test moments and opportunities are around you. They’re ready to invite you in and when they do, get ready to show them what you’re made of!

What’s the first opportunity you think will come up, or that you can jump into this week, to try this out?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

The Pitfalls Of Perfectionism

November 29th, 2012

After a few coaching sessions, I was recently reminded of a “redefinition” I’ve always enjoyed.

As my good friend (oh yeah, and business partner and Founder of iPEC — you know, that Bruce guy. No, no… Schneider, not Springsteen!), likes to say, “A perfectionist is someone who finds flaw with everything.”

The first time I used that one with a client, they said it was like getting hit between the eyes with a wrecking ball right before they laughed and acknowledged how unbelievably, and unfortunately, true it was for them.

Everyone, at some point, has had that one project or task (or many tasks) that they just couldn’t let go of until they knew it was “flawless.” Listen, if you’re an engineer designing a bridge or a skyscraper, by all means, please don’t let it go until you’ve got it done perfectly! However, for the vast majority of us, and truly everyone in their lives, this idea of holding out for perfection is nonsensical.

We do great work and the first 95%, or even 98%, comes together and then we slave over the remaining few percentages — even though these percentages will not actually add any, or much, tangible value.

We write a blog post, then hem-and-haw about the last few words and edits.

We don’t “turn on the new website” because of some last minute copy changes.

We don’t print the new business cards because we aren’t sure if our tagline is just right.

We determine most of what we need to say for a tough conversation with an employee or boss, or even our spouses, and yet, we hold off, thinking we may just find some way to make it even better (or, more likely, get out of it!).

ENOUGH ALREADY! 

You won’t have any readers if you don’t post the blog.

You won’t attract customers without the live website or without using a business card while networking (it’s just contact info – that’s it!).

And, you won’t make that challenging business or family situation better because you won’t have the tough conversation.

Listen… no seriously… listen to yourself! It’s time to trust yourself. It’s time to put yourself out there and trust that you will land on two feet. It’s time to trust that what you’ve come up with so far is more than enough to set you in motion and set you up for success.

Even if you spent all the time in the world coming up with the last few percentages either:

(A) It won’t make enough of a difference to have waited for it…

OR

(B) despite all the thinking in the world, you can’t prepare for all the different directions any one moment, conversation, or relationship can and will take — so you’re better off prepping what you can and then diving in.

What final 2% have you been chasing? How could you benefit from letting go of the final 2% of prep and just jumping in?  What difference might this make, especially on those projects where you feel stuck, trying to get it just right?

There’s no time like now.  Let it roll!

Live on Fire!

Luke

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Choosing Perceptions

July 25th, 2012

The other day, I was working with a client on a situation in her life that had recently changed. The situation was no longer as engaging or enjoyable as it’d once been, and the type of collaboration (and challenge) she’d previously experienced with it wasn’t going to return.

As a coach, one of the ways you can help someone to handle a difficult situation, or relationship, is to work with them to change their perception of it.  But what does that really mean? Are we to reframe it and look for the positives; i.e., make lemonade from lemons?  Not hardly!

In this particular circumstance, my client’s existing perception was accurate. And that perception, which was mostly an observation, really, was about what had changed in the colleague who was involved. At the end of the day, she knew she couldn’t change the other person and there really wasn’t anything “wrong,” per se, with what had changed. At times, it just is what it is.

While being true, that’s not particularly motivating or helpful to a client when they’re stuck!

So, we have to look at what it really means to change our perception. Perception is actually how you see things BECAUSE of an underlying belief or thought.

In this instance, my client saw the previous situation as THE way in which to achieve her goals, live by her values, and feel fulfilled. When the situation changed, her goals, values, and fulfillment all seemed to fall away or become uncertain and confused.

To change her perception, we worked together to restate her goal. She realized that her goal was still important to her, that she was still committed to it, and that she wasn’t willing to give it up just yet. She then was able to identify multiple other avenues by which she could engage, feel fulfilled, live/work according to her values, and really enjoy herself. Once the options were laid out, it was easy for her to choose what path to pursue.

This changed two things:
a) Her plan
b) Her perception of the situation (AND, of the relationship, really)

Her plan changed because she found a new path to her goal through this process.

Her perception of the relationship changed because her colleague was no longer a roadblock. Instead, she could accept, and be quite happy for, her colleague, while simultaneously continuing her pursuit of her goals and vision with passion and purpose.

To choose your perceptions, you really need to choose your thoughts, beliefs, values, and vision first. These are what guide your eyes where to look, what to see, and what to perceive.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Challenge Yourself to Grow

July 2nd, 2012

There’s a concept used in iPEC’s coaching program that’s quite simple and yet profound. We either grow or die. It’s the truth not only for us, but for all of nature. We either grow, or we die. Growth is part of life, but most people just seem to die early because they stop growing by not continuing to learn and challenge themselves. Being happiness includes having the attitude that life is filled with adventure, information, and insights, and that it’s not only your ability, but also your responsibility, to seek out as much as possible.

It seems we often settle into a rut, that is, a way of life that we believe works for us. It’s good enough. Good enough is not enough! Why settle for anything?

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD

Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

(Today’s blog is excerpted from iPEC’s self-mastery personal development program, The Law of Being.)