The Power of Real Connections by Guest-blogger Sue Urda

March 3rd, 2010

In our society today, “connections” is a huge buzz word.  If you are connected, you are someone who has access to and influence with the “right” people.  The “right” people will vary depending on certain situations that arise.  It is the connections you have and the amount of influence you have with them, along with your belief in yourself that will provide strength, security, and the means for creating abundance in all areas of your life.

Real and meaningful connections are those which you can call on at a moment’s notice.  These vital connections provide non-judgmental support, assistance, creativity and knowledge.  Being connected whether in business or personally, provides a sense of ease in your life.

It may be said that connections equal power.  It may also be said that connections equal life.

As we know from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, one of the six basic needs is the need for socialization – love, friendship and comradeship.  This is a need for love and belonging.  This is a need for basic human contact.  In fact, this is a need for connection.

The real beauty and value of connections is the way they make you feel.  Connections provide security, freedom, opportunity, friendship and grace.  Real connections make you feel capable, unstoppable and more expansive than you might otherwise feel as an individual.

Here are 7 tips for making and nurturing real connections in life:

1.  Be yourself. Be real.  Pretense in any situation can be dangerous.  When you meet someone, simply be yourself.  You may choose to put your best foot forward and be “your best self” and that is perfect.  People who resonate with your personality and energy will be drawn to you.  You will find that being yourself at all times, makes for a life filled with ease, grace, and less stress.

2.  Be likeable. You know there is a part of you that is truly likeable, engaging and attractive.  There is a part of you that people are drawn to and want to be around.  If you take stock of how you are “being”, you will know whether you are being charming or uninviting.  Always “check your attitude” at the door and choose to be the likeable you!

3.  Express gratitude freely. It is said that you learn much about an individual’s character by how she speaks of others.  Know that words have power.  Any thanks or praise, that you can give about another person gives power to everyone in the transaction. Power is heightened for the individual you share it with, the individual you share it about, and also for you.  It is always appropriate to express gratitude.

4.  Be present. No matter where you are or what you are doing, give yourself freely to the people that surround you, the task at hand, and the individuals who will be affected by your actions, words, and presence. Put aside the chatter of your mind, clear your plate, and simply be present. Being present is a gift for you and everyone else touched in the moment.

5.  Make new connections at every opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have time for another person in your life, think again. There is always room for someone with good energy, an open spirit, and the “right” connections.  When you choose to expand the circles of your life, you are choosing to expand yourself.  Expansion is exciting, empowering, exhilarating, and fun. You never know where a connection will lead, because you never know who or what anyone knows until you open up to them.  The next person you meet may be holding the answer to your questions.  She may be the perfect connection for you.  Get connected.

6.  Reach out and touch someone. The human touch contains more energy than any word, thought or material item.  Touching someone makes an instant connection.  They will pay closer attention to you, they will feel more a part of the conversation, and they will feel that you care about them.  A touch can be a small gesture like a handshake or a hand placed on their arm or shoulder.  A touch can also be a bigger gesture like a hug, a kiss or holding hands.  No matter the length or intensity, a touch commits your energy to the other person and creates an immediate physical bond.  This will create, enhance and strengthen your intellectual and emotional bond and supply meaning to the conversation, the topic and your relationship.  Perhaps above all, touching feels good.

7.  Use wisely your power of choice. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in each day.  How do you use yours?  Are you honoring yourself and your time?  If you do not have a big, huge “why” for how you are spending your time and who you are sharing it with, and if you are not enjoying yourself, do something else.  Seriously, find other people to hang around with, do business with and live with.  Move if you have to. Physically move from your space, whether this means taking two steps back or moving to another community.  The connections of your life matter.  Find something and someone you completely love.  Find something and someone who makes your heart sing.  Find something and someone who inspires you.  When you do, you will know the beauty and joy of real connections.  Today is not a dress rehearsal.  It’s your life.

Remember this:  YOU decide who your connections are.  YOU get to choose.  Choose to create and nurture connections that serve you.  Choose connections that make you feel good.  And always, always, choose to enjoy the process.  Now, that’s Powerful!
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About Sue Urda:
Sue Urda is Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, an Award-Winning Author, Speaker and Inspirer.  She is a two-time honoree on Inc. Magazine’s list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies and has learned the secret of living from her heart.  Through Powerful You! Inc, Sue designs venues for women to connect with each other and themselves.  You are invited to join Sue’s network, regional and national events: Women Living Consciously Conference, Transformation 2010 National Tour and Powerful You! Women’s Network.  Visit Sue’s website at:  www.powerfulyou.com

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 15th, 2010

Chocolates and flowers, love poems and hearts … but Valentine’s Day is so much more than just a Hallmark Holiday!  It reminds us to honor the gift of relationships, which bring us much joy (sometimes pain) and, frequently, growth. Here are a few thoughts on relationships and love in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

Without relationships, we would have no mirror to see ourselves.  We would not have a sounding board against which to base our own experiences.  The people in our lives give us clues as to what we believe about ourselves. Hopefully, they are mirroring how much we express our real Self.

“Relationships with other people allow you to share experiences and perspectives, so that all can remember who they are … in relation to one another,” says Bruce D Schneider, Founder, iPEC Coaching (www.ipeccoaching.com). “We all have intimate, social, and professional relationships, and certainly we experience highs and lows in each of our relationships,” he adds. “In low times, it’s often the underlying values of each member in the relationship that are in conflict. Greater harmony and synthesis can be created by an understanding of the role that values play in relationships.”

When we are in the right relationship with ourselves, we can then enjoy and value other relationships for what they truly offer. Instead of coming from need and lack, we can realize that our relationships are gifts, helping us to relate to others in an empowering way.

Valentine’s Day offers us an opportunity to show gratitude to those in our lives who we value, and who ideally bring out the best in us.

“Remember the small moments,” comments D. Luke Iorio, CEO, iPEC (www.ipeccoaching.com). “For Valentine’s Day, we often get caught up in the big plans, the romantic dinner and evening, the perfect special gift. But really, isn’t it the small things that lead to the strongest relationships?  It’s doing a few extra chores around the house without being asked; it’s the random bouquet of flowers on Tuesday just because; it’s picking up your spouse’s favorite snack while at the store. The core message of Valentine’s Day can be expressed 365 days a year. The secret of Valentine’s Day is to remember all of the little things that we can do all year long for those that we care about.”

No More New Year’s Resolutions, Make promises Instead

January 1st, 2010

We’re about to see yet another year pass on the calendar, and a new one begin. And my guess is, you’re about to make another resolution you’re not going to keep. Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is the definition of insanity! So let’s try something different this year. Let’s get serious.

1. First, let’s make a promise to yourself.

I’m asking you to make a commitment to yourself. A promise to yourself to go after that change that’s been in the back of your mind, perhaps for the past year, but likely for much longer than that. What dreams or goals have been burning beneath the surface that you would love to go after? What promise do you want to make to yourself for the coming year? Make a promise… and make it a big one!

2. Second, let’s apply some peer pressure.

Peer pressure can have a huge advantage; it doesn’t need to be a negative. Tell the promise you have made to yourself to at least 10 people. That’s right, I’m asking you to not keep this promise to yourself. I’m asking you to put it out there for others to see, to hold yourself accountable, and to ask them to help you follow through. When you state your intention to others, it strongly encourages and compels you to follow through. They will inadvertently keep you accountable just because you don’t want to disappoint them. State your intentions, your promise, to a group of likeminded achievers, and you’ll have a fan club in your back pocket who will keep you charged up, who will re-energize you if your momentum wanes, and who will remind you of your promise to yourself. (Need a fan club? Go to Facebook and tell the iPEC fans your promise. Believe me, they’ll be happy to keep you accountable!)

3. And last, but definitely not least, let‘s add some gratitude!

When you show appreciation on a daily basis, it puts a smile on your face. It gives you energy that will motivate you to keep your promise -and that can keep you running for months on end. Gratitude fills you up with powerful, anabolic energy. Energy that builds, that rejuvenates, and that drives purpose.

It’s been iPEC’s purpose - actually it’s been our promise - to help others live empowered lives, recognizing that they always have a choice, and that they always have the ability to create massive, powerful change.

This year, IPEC promises to help tens of thousands of people through coaching- and we want you to make sure that we follow through on our promise! As part of this promise we’ll make sure that our students, and in turn their clients, learn how to make coaching part of their everyday approach to life. We promise to help more and more audiences, individuals, and organizations understand the dramatic impact that coaching can have on their lives and careers. We promise to help those struggling with change understand that coaching is the answer. We’re changing the world, in partnership with our coaches, one person at a time!

Make your promise, and together let’s make change happen.

Luke

P.S. And becoming a coach isn’t a bad idea either!

Happy Holidays!

December 23rd, 2009

Wow, 2009 has been quite the year, huh? The economy, social, political, and business environments have been challenged in just about every way. And, in seeing all the uncertainty and challenges, I can’t help but think: FANTASTIC!

Is that what you would say?  Perhaps I’d better explain.  You see, as a certified professional coach, I getting excited because we’re finally asking real questions of ourselves and of our society. We’re looking deeper into who we are, rediscovering and re-aligning our values, and determining once again what we really stand for.  And, at the same time, we’re becoming more aware of how closely connected and interdependent we are on each other - as local, national, and global communities. We live in exciting times, and when these types of challenges arise, new ideas are born, outdated habits are dropped, purpose is reignited, and the possibilities of what could be open up even further.

During this holiday season, take time to catch your breath, to see the possibilities that lie around you waiting to be noticed, and most of all to give thanks - for your family, friends, those that support you, and for these exciting times that open all of us up to change… change that will help us grow ever closer to our true potential.

Have a wonderful, safe, heart-warming, gratitude-filled holiday and a prosperous, healthy New Year.

D. Luke Iorio

President

Time Management, manage your most valuable resource to your benefit!

December 11th, 2009

Two recently published articles in the Wall Street Journal’s quoted Luke Iorio, President of iPEC.

Are you continuously racing against the clock? Do certain tasks keep falling through the cracks? Do you feel like you never have enough time to do the things you really want to be doing? You could probably use a new time-management system.

During the Holiday Season the days seem to become even more hectic than usual, and we want more time in a day. We feel like “if we only had more time” we could achieve our goals and accomplish our daily tasks. We become even more keenly aware of the limit of one of our most valuable resources: time.

This is one of the top reasons coaches get hired. And the Wall Street Journal has provided valuable tips in two articles from a series of experts, including our own Luke Iorio.

What was not mentioned in these articles is that time management is all about CHOICE management. Most of us spend our time reacting to demands of other people and circumstances without taking the time to assess whether we are really focused on our top priorities. We typically sweat the small stuff and ignore the important stuff. The articles below will provide you with some good time management systems that will help you stay focused on your priorities while letting your system sweat the small stuff for you. These systems and authors also discuss some key bad habits that we’ve taken on that steal time from us… so tune in, read on, and take back your time!

Here’s to more focused priorities and getting more time back in our day!

Click on the links below to learn about them:

Article published on November 25th, 2009

Article published on  November 18th, 2009