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December 21st, 2011
Yes, YOU.
You who’s been putting off that big decision (you know the big one that requires change and transition) or that difficult conversation because you don’t want to upset the other person or don’t know how to have the conversation without it getting heated or causing an argument.
But wait, there’s you, too. Yes, YOU.
You who’s been thinking about undertaking that new project that’ll get you ahead, which you’re excited about, but you know a lot of people will be watching to see how you do and what makes you sweat.
It doesn’t matter how big or how small, there’s likely something that’s important to you right now, in some way, which you’re avoiding or putting off. You may not be clear on what to do; you may be worried about some of the potential consequences (you know, the vivid and wonderfully creative stories of worst case scenarios that you’ve had running in the back of your mind). You may simply be afraid that it won’t work out as expected, even though you really, really want it to.
That’s life. It wants to be lived. It wants you to step into the moment and actually be there; be there in the moment — present, fully engaged, playing full out! Life doesn’t have regrets, but you may if you don’t take action – if you don’t jump in and play.
Life won’t always (or even most of the time) go as expected. Big surprise. Get back up and put your confidence in the way you want to live your life, instead of life needing to be a certain way in order for you to enjoy it. The joy is in the living; it’s in the process.
Whatever part of life is waiting for you, consider what small step you could take to get it moving again. What’s one giant leap you could take? What’s something in the middle that feels right – in terms of action, progress, and process?
Stop waiting; Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: achievement, choice, creativity, intentions, motivation, new perspective, opportunity, power of choice
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
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July 25th, 2011
I was fussing at my son about something, and I ended my speech with, “Now I’m serious, Luke. Do you understand me?” My son, who was two at the time, looked at me. He was genuinely puzzled and angrily replied, “You not serwious! You momma!”
To this day, I still remember his words, and they make me laugh every time. In that moment, I was limiting myself to being “serious,” and this label was clearly not going to fly with my son. I am more than just a serious person; I am also loving, forgiving, and understanding.
When we can approach difficult circumstances as our authentic selves, we honor who we are. We don’t limit ourselves by sticking a label on our foreheads; we don’t act according to the directions on the label. We may think that certain situations call for specific behaviors; they don’t.
Be who you are. Honor yourself; honor the other person. Work together and be ready to celebrate the accomplishments that come to fruition.
Veronica Bacigalupo
Program Development Manager, Educational Markets Division
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching
Tags: choice, creativity, encouragement, intentions
Posted in Veronica Bacigalupo - Program Development Manager, leadership
1 Comment »
July 11th, 2011
On my way home from a recent trip, my flight was delayed. Upon its arrival from an incoming flight, the plane hit a bird, so a mechanic was called out to assess the plane’s condition. After a 30-minute inspection, we were allowed to board the plane. The flight attendant thanked us for our patience, apologized for any inconvenience, and reminded everyone, “It’s better to be on the ground wishing you were up in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground.” I thanked the airline for this “spoonful of sugar;” it certainly made the “medicine” or, in this case, the wait, go down smoothly.
When we bring out the humor in a difficult or challenging situation, what we’re really doing is adding distance between the issue and our feelings. When we allow ourselves a break from a stressful emotional state, we give ourselves a break as well. And in that moment, we offer ourselves the opportunity to see a fresh perspective, gain a new insight, or have a renewed hope.
Veronica Bacigalupo
Director of Educational Programs
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching
Tags: attitude, choice, creativity, education, expectations, intentions, new perspective, power of choice
Posted in Veronica Bacigalupo - Program Development Manager, leadership
1 Comment »
July 6th, 2011
Ever been in an argument or have a “misunderstanding” that results in you and the other party getting locked into your own points of view? If this hasn’t happened to you, welcome to Planet Earth and the human race!
Step back from one of these arguments and take a look at the difference in perspective and try to ascertain what that difference is REALLY about. Many arguments ignore the fact that the two (or more) parties actually have the same goal; they are actually trying to accomplish the same thing, but they get tied up in HOW they want that goal achieved, which stems from each of us believing we have the monopoly on great ideas and the right way to do things.
Instead, let’s get really simple here: Which is more important to you – the goal or the way it gets achieved?
Now, when I say “the way it gets achieved,” I’m not talking about breaching ethical guidelines or acting inappropriately for the sake of accomplishment; I’m simply talking about how stuck we get in doing things our way.
When you re-acknowledge the goal – the real goal – it now opens conversation:
a) to identify the options already on the table from current parties; and,
b) to inquire as to what other options could accomplish this goal.
Look for the opportunity to draw out new ideas and new options from others, acknowledge what you’ve heard to make sure you heard it right, and build a list. Then, go through each option with each person acknowledging, first, what they like and, then, discussing any possible concerns so that you can be sure you weigh the pros and cons. Look for opportunities for how the ideas might build off one another.
This process usually leads to great new alternatives, which meet the real goal while, also, representing and balancing everyone’s concerns.
But, you can only get there by going back up the mountain to the real goal. Next time that argument comes up, be the calm voice in the room that offers a new perspective and an empowering question that opens up the possibilities. Be a coach.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, choice, creativity, intentions, leadership, new perspective
Posted in Business Development, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
2 Comments »
June 22nd, 2011
How rigidly do you stick to your plan and perspective, despite the ever changing environment and unexpected twists and turns that inevitably arise along the way? C’mon, be honest. What do you feel in the moment you discover that something didn’t match up to what you were expecting? Frustrated? Defeated? Angry? How often do you find yourself pushing forward anyway, only to look back later and ask yourself, “What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just…?”
We like to think about playing the game by our rules, and not by other peoples’ rules.
Think about this: What would life and work be like if you were so comfortable and confident in your own abilities and intentions, that you could play the “game” by anyone’s rules, knowing that you could go with the flow and that your flexibility provided you the ability to create the best results for all involved – at any time?
What would that type of flexibility help you achieve?
The first step in being this flexible is to give up the need to be right. Know what your real goal is – meaning the target for which you’re aiming, and NOT the very specific strategies and tactics you feel must be employed to reach the goal. Focus on that real goal; know why it’s important to you. And now, place your focus elsewhere. You already know your goal and what you think. So now, focus on understanding what the other person is thinking… what’s important to them… what’s their real goal, etc.
Focus there, be flexible, and let the conversation flow. You may be surprised at the results and how often you’ll be able to align your goals with the goals of others.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, choice, coaching skills, creativity, leadership, new perspective, self-improvement
Posted in Business Development, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
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