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September 21st, 2011
The norm, for the vast majority of us, has become defending and sticking to our views, as well as advocating and influencing others to see it our way (or, in the alternative, not speaking up and remaining entrenched in our own view, unwilling to truly look at other possible perspectives). I’m sure you’re familiar with this approach.
So, let’s look instead at the role of the coach (and, in doing so, insert the word leader, teacher, or facilitator into this statement) in expanding your view. It’s to ask, for a period of time, what if the sky wasn’t blue? Or the grass wasn’t green? Or the water wasn’t wet?
Taking an opposing view, or even one that’s not directly contrary, but just from a unique perspective, can be invaluable in opening up new possibilities and creativity. After all, isn’t this when our passion truly comes alive?
We don’t want to be stifled, so why would we stifle the opinions of others? If you want to be able to fully express your ideas, how are you allowing others to fully express and explore theirs?
Why wait to be pronounced the coach, the leader, the teacher, or the facilitator? Why not step up as an individual, exercise that response-ability, and take the lead?
What will you do the next time you’re in a situation that requires ideas, solutions, and creativity? What will you do to engage the entire group of minds involved?
Make your goal be to arrive at the best possible solution or idea, and not simply to be the one with the “winning” idea.
Have confidence in the group around you, contribute your ideas, and help others contribute theirs as well. Let the ideas percolate, marinate, and grow. And see how far you can lead the group. In fact, you may just find this experience significantly more rewarding than simply being the one who’s idea was chosen.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: change, choice, expectations, judging others, leadership, new perspective
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, leadership
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August 22nd, 2011
When you judge others, you judge yourself.
The next time you find yourself upset with another person’s actions, try to see yourself in that person and that person’s actions. If you are open to the possibility, you may actually find out that, in many cases, it is yourself that you see within that other person – a part of yourself you do not like – and it is you that you are upset with. The other person is only a mirror for your self-learning.
Once you are able to look within, and not project your anger onto another, you can take responsibility for your feelings and choose to let go of your anger.
—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, Founder
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, change, judging others, new perspective
Posted in Bruce D Schneider - iPEC Founder, Monday Morning Motivation
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August 10th, 2011
I’ve read a lot about generational differences recently – within families, communities, the workplace, etc.
The Baby Boomers, Gen X-ers, and Gen Y-ers are all of different ages, growing-up under vastly different circumstances, so they quite naturally have their own unique perspectives, values, experiences, and goals. Using available information to learn about these generations can be quite helpful; however, that’s just a starting point.
Too often, we gather initial information about something and use that information to group or categorize our knowledge into buckets – meaning, we generalize the pieces of information and assume they help us understand the whole. This is actually part of how the brain functions. The more that it can compartmentalize information, the quicker it can operate and keep its attention on what’s next.
However, this is also the basis of forming assumptions and can prevent us from looking deeper at the uniqueness of any given situation or person — which is my point.
While there are differences among generations (as well as cultures, races, and genders), doesn’t every single one of us have our own values, experiences, perspectives, and goals?
Any initial information that you have is just the beginning (in potentially making you more comfortable with what you know). When it comes to human beings, the exception is the rule. So look for the exceptions and relate to individuals based on those exceptions.
Take the time to understand people for who they uniquely are – which includes what makes them both different AND alike.
Avoid the labels, get real, get personal… and of course, have some fun!
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: choice, expectations, judging others, leadership, new perspective
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
2 Comments »
May 18th, 2011
The vast majority of U.S. workers that are not engaged at work fall into the catabolic range, identified as having an E-Factor of less than 3.0. They have a way of being that’s destructive, draining, and de-motivating, and they’re typically associated with one of two catabolic profiles.
The first catabolic profile depicts employees who have low confidence and tend not to be engaged in their careers, as they’re not satisfied with their abilities. They may go to great lengths to avoid any type of challenges or conflict, and they often show signs of being removed and disengaged in the workplace. This disengagement and despondent approach leaves them with considerably less ability to lead others when compared to those whose E-Factors remain in the anabolic range.
The second catabolic profile may be more challenging to identify, as it is seen in employees who appear confident in their career and decisions. Instead of appearing dispassionate, they use their “confidence” to be argumentative, opinionated, defensive, or controlling. Those who exhibit the second catabolic profile tend to be hardheaded, only seeing things from their own perspective, and they often attempt to squash others with conflicting viewpoints.
As they demonstrate low emotional intelligence, they tend to get things done by force instead of by engagement. The conflict they create ultimately shows itself through disengagement, gossip, and criticism. This catabolic profile is the one most prevalent in the workforce.
These catabolic profiles may create conflict and challenges when identified in a subordinate role; they’re even more disruptive when manifested in the leadership of organizations.
A catabolic temperament can cause a ripple effect that may ultimately suppress the creativity and independence of junior staff; without instilling confidence in supportive roles, productivity can deteriorate and innovation can be stifled.
Understanding catabolic profiles helps us to intervene, effectively, to help leaders tap into anabolic energy, and to help them to become better engaged and also engage those around them.
Which catabolic profile do you encounter most often? How has this impacted your organization? How has it impacted you?
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, business coach, coach training, iPEC Coaching, judging others, leadership, new perspective, opportunity, success, workforce engagement
Posted in Business Development, D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, leadership
1 Comment »
September 7th, 2010
Remember that terrible old “break up” line… “No, no, really… it’s not you, it’s me.” Well, sometimes it seems that history is not without a sense of irony.
The Norm: When situations get frustrating and are not living up to our expectations, we begin looking at who is causing the situation. We can’t possibly be the source. It must be elsewhere… right?
But alas, it’s not them, it’s you/us!
We see the world through our perceptions, through our past experiences, and through our values. This forms our “filter” for viewing life and for how we act and react in any situation. So we act and perceive based on our filters; just like others act and perceive based on theirs…
See how quickly “reality” becomes quite “relative” depending who you are in this particular scenario?
Key point: Notice that others are simply interpreting and acting based on how they see the world, and you are doing the same, based on how you see the world?
This is just a normal cycle in our everyday lives. Individuals – who are empowered, who positively impact and influence others, and (dare I say) who lead others – choose not to get caught up in this cycle. Instead they know it is part of the game of life, and they have fun with it. They are quick to identify and check their own perceptions – recognizing their perception is exactly this: theirs, and no one else’s.
When you don’t see a situation the same way as someone else, or someone doesn’t see it your way, don’t let frustration or aggravation get in your way. Instead know that differences are to be expected, welcomed, AND understood.
Know that if you have a “negative” reaction to a situation or another person, that it’s really telling you something about YOURSELF.
You can spend your time wishing the other person will change or wake up or you can focus on yourself and be aware of what perceptions that you have that may be causing any feelings of negativity. One path will lead to frustration; the other to fulfillment.
So, a helpful little takeaway: Walk with a mirror – meaning, when you want a different result, when you want something to change, stop looking to others for that change, and instead focus in on the one thing you can change – you!
Live on fire!
D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO
Tags: adversity, attitude, choice, expectations, judging others, leadership, new perspective, opportunity, power of choice, values
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO, Energy Leadership, leadership
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