|
|
September 7th, 2010
Remember that terrible old “break up” line… “No, no, really… it’s not you, it’s me.” Well, sometimes it seems that history is not without a sense of irony.
The Norm: When situations get frustrating and are not living up to our expectations, we begin looking at who is causing the situation. We can’t possibly be the source. It must be elsewhere… right?
But alas, it’s not them, it’s you/us!
We see the world through our perceptions, through our past experiences, and through our values. This forms our “filter” for viewing life and for how we act and react in any situation. So we act and perceive based on our filters; just like others act and perceive based on theirs…
See how quickly “reality” becomes quite “relative” depending who you are in this particular scenario?
Key point: Notice that others are simply interpreting and acting based on how they see the world, and you are doing the same, based on how you see the world?
This is just a normal cycle in our everyday lives. Individuals – who are empowered, who positively impact and influence others, and (dare I say) who lead others – choose not to get caught up in this cycle. Instead they know it is part of the game of life, and they have fun with it. They are quick to identify and check their own perceptions – recognizing their perception is exactly this: theirs, and no one else’s.
When you don’t see a situation the same way as someone else, or someone doesn’t see it your way, don’t let frustration or aggravation get in your way. Instead know that differences are to be expected, welcomed, AND understood.
Know that if you have a “negative” reaction to a situation or another person, that it’s really telling you something about YOURSELF.
You can spend your time wishing the other person will change or wake up or you can focus on yourself and be aware of what perceptions that you have that may be causing any feelings of negativity. One path will lead to frustration; the other to fulfillment.
So, a helpful little takeaway: Walk with a mirror – meaning, when you want a different result, when you want something to change, stop looking to others for that change, and instead focus in on the one thing you can change – you!
Live on fire!
D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO
Tags: adversity, attitude, choice, expectations, judging others, leadership, new perspective, opportunity, power of choice, values
Posted in Energy Leadership, leadership
No Comments »
August 10th, 2010
How often do you find yourself not moving forward with action steps towards a goal just because you’re waiting for something else to happen first? And, how often do you allow this to become an obstacle to moving forward – getting stuck in perpetual limbo?
Many times we feel that we don’t have control over the progress of our lives because of some other factor or person.
“I’ll start that project when I get the proper funding.”
“I can’t set that call up with the prospect until Joe gets me all of the details!”
“I need to think this through further and understand all the angles before I move forward.”
It’s quite normal to want to feel prepared and have everything in place for the best start before actually beginning. But at what point does it become paralysis by analysis? Your excuse for not “getting out there”? Or your story for postponing action?
Waiting can be a form of self defense — fearing that either we will ‘get hurt’ or ‘look bad’ by not succeeding. We look for this ‘X’ factor that somehow will make it all come together just perfectly… and so we wait. We spend so much time and energy convincing others and ourselves of all the reasons that we shouldn’t or can’t move forward. We miss the very point that the ‘X’ factor has been there all along… sitting in the mirror.
It’s at these times of “waiting” that we need to ask ourselves, what’s really holding us back? If I had that missing piece of information, that feedback from whomever, that ‘X’ factor that I’ve been waiting on, what could I then do? What are 3 others ways I could make some progress toward my goal without waiting?
Consider that there are other options. Consider that it may be fear that’s holding you back. Consider what it would take and most importantly what it would feel like – despite the fear and desire to ‘wait’ until the stars are aligned – to take action, to get busy, to muster up the courage and press forward knowing that you will be able to do the best you can at the moment? How might this “Get Busy” attitude create a whole new paradigm for your life?
“Perhaps by putting together people and pieces for this project I’ll come across new avenues for funding and be that much further along when the money comes along.”
“I should call that prospect and find out what her schedule looks like so that we can set up a call. This will keep us in contact and move things along. I’ll ask Joe to get in on the call so he’s aware of the timeline and feels some level of urgency with regards to that info that I requested from him”
We all have a choice in every moment. How do you want to focus your thoughts and energy?
Which would you prefer: to stand still and look at what didn’t happen; or, to move forward with passion and excitement looking forward to what will happen next?
We all have RESPONSE-ABILITY – that is, the ability to respond, the ability to make things happen, the ability to set the example for what we want to ask of others, and the energy to not only take action, but to inspire others to take action as well.
So what’s it going to take for you to “get busy”?
D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO
Tags: leadership
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, Energy Leadership
No Comments »
July 27th, 2010
It’s funny how a difference in perspective or opinion in any conversation can change the entire dynamic of what is being said. The tone, the energy, as well as any levels of defense and/or offense will all drastically shift depending on the amount of conflict taking place. In a sense, people stop listening and start ‘insisting’ instead. So the question becomes: How do we recognize conflict before it takes over our ability to communicate effectively?
When we are 110% convinced that we see the whole truth and nothing but the truth, we (understandably) stop taking into consideration that what someone else is saying could have ANY truth! We quickly form stories, back up our decisions, and shape our future perspectives based off of what we’re sure we already know. The challenge in that scenario is that most likely, whomever we’re having this conflict with is doing the exact same thing.
So, if everyone’s digging into their own point of view, who’s watching for assumptions, mis-interpretations, and that tricky moving target called the “truth”?
Well hopefully, after reading this blog, YOU are! One way to save a lot of time, energy, and frustration during your next argument (and by no means am I wishing an argument upon you, but “hypothetically” if this were to occur) is to first remember to breathe. After that, recognize that anxiety as a warning sign from your body that your thoughts are not as comfortable as your mind would like them to be. Your mind and body are kind of saying “wait a minute, maybe we’re ALL missing a bit of information and understanding.”
When you get that feeling — when you are suddenly aware that there is more conflict in your conversation then there is communication — I suggest the following: Stop for just a moment, acknowledge your awareness of this feeling internally, and then re-enter the conversation with curiosity and…
• identify what’s trying to be achieved by the group and by each party
• search out and name the common viewpoints and intentions
• isolate the thinking and perspective behind the difference of opinion
• acknowledge why each person has a different view
• separate the “hot button” issue from side, ancillary issues
• agree that each person’s key hot buttons are important
• work together to meet each other’s remaining needs
• institute a common goal to create alignment in this conversation, as opposed to figuring out ‘who is right’
Conflict arises for many reasons, but clarity can help dissipate any negative energy and/or emotions very quickly.
Take the coach approach and ask insightful, empowering questions to clarify. Then re-focus, shift energy, and create alignment.
D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO
Tags: leadership
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Energy Leadership
No Comments »
July 6th, 2010
After recently reading an Harvard Business Review blog on great bosses and leaders, I found it interesting that one of the many traits found in great bosses is that they are “Masters of the Obvious.” As CEO of iPEC and someone who regularly interacts with coaches, I found myself asking the ‘obvious’ question “What does this mean to coaches?” While it’s great to imagine and feel the energy behind earth-moving type ideas and “A-HA moments,” it’s quite often the basic, obvious insights that are right in front of our own noses that can make the biggest, most visible, near-term impacts. This is a key piece in self-awareness. We often look past solutions that are right within our grasps. When we take the time to get real clarity on the basics of life, we can then use them as solid stepping stones and reference points for deeper challenges that appear later on in day-to-day life.
Interestingly enough, once you start to look for the obvious, you’ll find it everywhere (obviously!). You just have to put the simple, basic solutions on your radar screen and in turn allow your mind to look for them.
Three techniques that assist you in becoming a Master of the Obvious:
1. Ask: What would a complete stranger or objective observer notice about this situation?
By separating ourselves from the situation in a personal sense and not having any emotional attachment to the challenge at hand, we clear up any feelings that may be blocking our view of the obvious.
2. Reflect: What’s my real goal? And what would be the “straightest” path to it?
This time, it’s the goal that gets separated from all of the disjointed thoughts of our mind. It’s a fresh look at why this challenge came up to begin with. It takes away any frustration of wrong answers and gives you a brand new canvas to work with.
3. Challenge: If I’m over-thinking this, what aspects might I be making more complicated than they need to be?
There is a humorous, sarcastic response that often comes from a good friend, when we unintentionally point something out that everyone else already knows, that usually goes along the lines of something like this… “Thank you Captain Obvious!!!” So if you feel like you’re over-thinking a situation, it may be helpful to ask yourself ‘What would Captain Obvious think the answer is here?” If there is more than one aspect to the solution, you may need to get Captain Obvious’ perspective on a couple of things before you come up with a final solution.
‘Obviously,’ by combining all three of these techniques at any given time you’ll most likely have a more efficient outcome.
I appreciate your time!
(Though I think that was obvious)
D. Luke Iorio, CEO and President of iPEC Coaching
Tags: leadership
Posted in Business Development, Energy Leadership
No Comments »
March 15th, 2010
That’s what happens when 400 like-minded change agents, coaches and community leaders gather in a hotel in Morristown, New Jersey! On Thursday, March 4th, iPEC Coaching hosted S.H.I.F.T. New Jersey, an event which is part of a national consciousness-raising movement, as well as a celebration of iPEC’s 10th anniversary.
The keynote speaker was Bruce D Schneider, Master Certified Coach, founder of iPEC, who personally shared the transformational power behind “The Slingshot Effect,” a unique phenomenon that occurs when a significant amount of pressure builds up within and around us. By simply learning how to release this pressure, one can be at the cause of his or her life - and create a ripple effect of extraordinary results. Dr. Schneider invited all those in attendance to take the challenge of making a difference in at least one person’s life over the next 30 days. The crowd was more than excited to participate.
Other presenters included iPEC’s CEO, D. Luke Iorio, and other iPEC executives, Deborah Van De Grift, Cheryl Wilson, and affiliate partner, Ed Abel from Abel Business Institute, Network Plus, Powerful You!, and Affinity. Events have occurred in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New Jersey, with additional cities being planned.
Listen to what some of the attendees had to say about this extraordinary evening:
“It only goes to show you the transformation power of iPEC and Bruce Schneider when they sell out a room to 400 people. The S.H.I.F.T. NJ event was an evening of inspiration, energy, motivation and it left a lasting impact! Bruce’s presentation was mindful and full of enlightening purpose. Definitely, do not miss the next S.H.I.F.T. event!!”
Ed Able, Abel Business Institute
“Thank you, iPEC, for the incredible evening at SHIFT NJ! You provided inspiration, motivation, and meaningful insights to propel forward anyone interested in improving their own life or making a difference in the lives of others. I am grateful to have experienced the power of iPEC and look forward spreading the word so others may benefit as well. I can now understand why Bruce D Schneider is such a well-loved leader.”
Sue Urda, Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network www.powerfulyou.com
“SHIFT is a movement emerging from these challenging, yet exciting times. We were thrilled with the reception of the New Jersey event, which, like all SHIFT events, was intended for professionals, leaders, and change agents who want to see positive change happen and seek support and ideas for new ways to progress. The room was filled with like-minded people who wish to seize and create opportunities, and make a significant difference in the world.”
D. Luke Iorio, CEO, iPEC Coaching
“I came to SHIFT because I always get inspired when I listen to Bruce speak. (and I did). It lifts my energy level and always gives me new and interesting things to expand my mind and therefore my business. The bonus factor of being at SHIFT that I did not think ahead about was reconnecting to so many people in the iPEC family. It is unbelievable uplifting to be in a room filled with people whose values, consciousness, and love of living and learning bond us together.”
Ivy Slater from Slater Success Coaching
“SHIFT New Jersey was an absolutely inspirational evening. The energy, the people, and the practical, down-to-earth information were all remarkable. And if that wasn’t enough, I found “The Slingshot Effect” was not only a fantastic transformational tool but a revolutionary “shift” in perspective that turns tension into triumph. Great stuff from start to finish!!”
Brett Ramsdell, Coaching Student
“SHIFT offers a powerful and concise reminder of the absolute necessity of being fully engaged as the leader of your own life, and making the conscious choice to affect others positively. Watch your world expand as you shift!”
Kimber Britner from Bright Life Coaching
Tags: attitude, become a coach, change, leadership, Networking, personal achievement, workforce engagement
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Current Affairs, Energy Leadership, Food and Drink, Life Potentials, Networking, Upcoming Events & Workshops
34 Comments »
|
|
Subscribe (RSS)