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September 7th, 2010
Remember that terrible old “break up” line… “No, no, really… it’s not you, it’s me.” Well, sometimes it seems that history is not without a sense of irony.
The Norm: When situations get frustrating and are not living up to our expectations, we begin looking at who is causing the situation. We can’t possibly be the source. It must be elsewhere… right?
But alas, it’s not them, it’s you/us!
We see the world through our perceptions, through our past experiences, and through our values. This forms our “filter” for viewing life and for how we act and react in any situation. So we act and perceive based on our filters; just like others act and perceive based on theirs…
See how quickly “reality” becomes quite “relative” depending who you are in this particular scenario?
Key point: Notice that others are simply interpreting and acting based on how they see the world, and you are doing the same, based on how you see the world?
This is just a normal cycle in our everyday lives. Individuals – who are empowered, who positively impact and influence others, and (dare I say) who lead others – choose not to get caught up in this cycle. Instead they know it is part of the game of life, and they have fun with it. They are quick to identify and check their own perceptions – recognizing their perception is exactly this: theirs, and no one else’s.
When you don’t see a situation the same way as someone else, or someone doesn’t see it your way, don’t let frustration or aggravation get in your way. Instead know that differences are to be expected, welcomed, AND understood.
Know that if you have a “negative” reaction to a situation or another person, that it’s really telling you something about YOURSELF.
You can spend your time wishing the other person will change or wake up or you can focus on yourself and be aware of what perceptions that you have that may be causing any feelings of negativity. One path will lead to frustration; the other to fulfillment.
So, a helpful little takeaway: Walk with a mirror – meaning, when you want a different result, when you want something to change, stop looking to others for that change, and instead focus in on the one thing you can change – you!
Live on fire!
D. Luke Iorio
President and CEO
Tags: adversity, attitude, choice, expectations, judging others, leadership, new perspective, opportunity, power of choice, values
Posted in Energy Leadership, leadership
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March 1st, 2010
These days, more and more of us are freelancing, or running solo businesses.
The life of a solo practitioner can be a lonely one. Alone in your office or home, without the stimulation of colleagues and the energy of a busy office or institution, it can be a challenge to maintain your positive energy and stay motivated.
In other words, the life of a “solopreneur” can be a lonely one.
For those who chose that route because of all the benefits it offers – being your own boss, choosing your own clients, setting your own schedule – there are a number of ways to stay sharp and positive.
Attitude is everything! Believe in yourself and the work that you are doing and don’t let negative people get you down.
Surround yourself with positive people – clients, friends, family, partners. Working with clients who are passionate and excited about what they do and who have reasonable expectations of what you can do for them will keep you motivated and interested. Friends and family help to keep you grounded, and their faith in you is invaluable. A good job coach can also help you to remain motivated and to focus on your goals, both professional and personal.
Speaking of goals, focusing on short-term, realistic goals will also help to keep you motivated. Think about your client load, their expectations, and how much work you can reasonably handle without driving yourself crazy.
Be realistic about your strengths as a sole practitioner and reach out to others to help you with everything else. Better to play to your strengths, and hire talent to fill the gaps, rather than struggle to be good at everything..
As you work with clients to help them achieve their goals, keep your own goals in mind. Visualize what you want to accomplish and remain faithful to that. Focus on the larger goals.
Keeping a positive attitude can be difficult when things don’t go exactly as planned. Take time to work through the negative feelings, realizing that they are temporary, and work at getting back to a positive place.
When things don’t work out as planned, turn disappointments into opportunities for growth. Learn from failure and use it to build success.
And finally, be good to yourself. Take time for friends and family. Step away from the computer. Put down the Blackberry. Eat well, get enough sleep, and indulge your passions. Nourish yourself.
Tags: attitude, choice, intentions, new perspective, opportunity, personal achievement, reframing, workforce engagement
Posted in Business Development, Law of Being, Life Potentials
4 Comments »
January 1st, 2010
We’re about to see yet another year pass on the calendar, and a new one begin. And my guess is, you’re about to make another resolution you’re not going to keep. Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is the definition of insanity! So let’s try something different this year. Let’s get serious.
1. First, let’s make a promise to yourself.
I’m asking you to make a commitment to yourself. A promise to yourself to go after that change that’s been in the back of your mind, perhaps for the past year, but likely for much longer than that. What dreams or goals have been burning beneath the surface that you would love to go after? What promise do you want to make to yourself for the coming year? Make a promise… and make it a big one!
2. Second, let’s apply some peer pressure.
Peer pressure can have a huge advantage; it doesn’t need to be a negative. Tell the promise you have made to yourself to at least 10 people. That’s right, I’m asking you to not keep this promise to yourself. I’m asking you to put it out there for others to see, to hold yourself accountable, and to ask them to help you follow through. When you state your intention to others, it strongly encourages and compels you to follow through. They will inadvertently keep you accountable just because you don’t want to disappoint them. State your intentions, your promise, to a group of likeminded achievers, and you’ll have a fan club in your back pocket who will keep you charged up, who will re-energize you if your momentum wanes, and who will remind you of your promise to yourself. (Need a fan club? Go to Facebook and tell the iPEC fans your promise. Believe me, they’ll be happy to keep you accountable!)
3. And last, but definitely not least, let‘s add some gratitude!
When you show appreciation on a daily basis, it puts a smile on your face. It gives you energy that will motivate you to keep your promise -and that can keep you running for months on end. Gratitude fills you up with powerful, anabolic energy. Energy that builds, that rejuvenates, and that drives purpose.
It’s been iPEC’s purpose - actually it’s been our promise - to help others live empowered lives, recognizing that they always have a choice, and that they always have the ability to create massive, powerful change.
This year, IPEC promises to help tens of thousands of people through coaching- and we want you to make sure that we follow through on our promise! As part of this promise we’ll make sure that our students, and in turn their clients, learn how to make coaching part of their everyday approach to life. We promise to help more and more audiences, individuals, and organizations understand the dramatic impact that coaching can have on their lives and careers. We promise to help those struggling with change understand that coaching is the answer. We’re changing the world, in partnership with our coaches, one person at a time!
Make your promise, and together let’s make change happen.
Luke
P.S. And becoming a coach isn’t a bad idea either!
Tags: achievement, Add new tag, attitude, change, creativity, encouragement, expectations, finding purpose, gratitude, intentions, new perspective, opportunity, values
Posted in Current Affairs, Law of Being, Life Potentials
1 Comment »
December 23rd, 2009
Wow, 2009 has been quite the year, huh? The economy, social, political, and business environments have been challenged in just about every way. And, in seeing all the uncertainty and challenges, I can’t help but think: FANTASTIC!
Is that what you would say? Perhaps I’d better explain. You see, as a certified professional coach, I getting excited because we’re finally asking real questions of ourselves and of our society. We’re looking deeper into who we are, rediscovering and re-aligning our values, and determining once again what we really stand for. And, at the same time, we’re becoming more aware of how closely connected and interdependent we are on each other - as local, national, and global communities. We live in exciting times, and when these types of challenges arise, new ideas are born, outdated habits are dropped, purpose is reignited, and the possibilities of what could be open up even further.
During this holiday season, take time to catch your breath, to see the possibilities that lie around you waiting to be noticed, and most of all to give thanks - for your family, friends, those that support you, and for these exciting times that open all of us up to change… change that will help us grow ever closer to our true potential.
Have a wonderful, safe, heart-warming, gratitude-filled holiday and a prosperous, healthy New Year.
D. Luke Iorio
President
Tags: attitude, change, choice, creativity, encouragement, gratitude, intentions, new perspective, success
Posted in Current Affairs
1 Comment »
December 18th, 2009
Coaching is more than a profession; it’s a way of living. Coaching offers you a new attitude, perspective and valuable skills that improve the quality of your life dramatically.
One way coaching does this is through improving communication. Most of our frustrations are the result of poor communications that lead to misunderstandings and mismatched expectations – both our own and others’ expectations. Think about the last argument, disappointment, or conflict you had… how much of that could have been more easily solved (if not altogether avoided) with clear communication right from the start?
All of these things can mean that our relationships aren’t as strong as we would like them to be and can be. And relationships are the key to success these days. A multitude of articles from O magazine to HR Manager to the NY Times continuously point to relationships as the key factor for satisfaction in both the workplace and at home. Building better relationships with co-workers will help you look forward to work and approach it with greater energy which will propel you into success!
Why is this relevant to coaching?
Coaching not only shows you how to bring out the best in people but it also shows you how to communicate more clearly. The fundamental skill for coaching effectively is communication and understanding of oneself and others. Communication is one of the cornerstones to how we relate to everyone – including ourselves!
So, how will coaching really improve your life… dramatically?
1. Coaching creates more self-awareness
Both by being coached or going through the coach training you will become conscious to what makes you YOU — through discovering and understanding the meaning of your beliefs, thought patterns, perceptions, emotions and know how. A coach is a guide – who is self-confident, patient, insightful, and understanding of others.
2. Coaching cuts through our communication barriers
By becoming more self-aware we can see more clearly, as if veils of misperceptions and misunderstanding are finally lifted. This generates insight around expectations and therefore our communications become more transparent and match our real intentions (and not our interpretations!). As we become clearer we also help others to be clearer in what they really mean.
While these are just 2 of many aspects of coaching, they contribute significantly to healthy, sympathetic and energetic relationships. Through this, new levels of cooperation, collaboration and most importantly understanding are possible.
You can be a better leader, friend, spouse, executive, teacher, parent… And you can even call yourself a coach!
This is why coaching is the profession of choice for so many: Because it isn’t just a profession, it’s a way of living!
PS> And this is really just one set of ways that coaching improves your life… come learn what else becoming a coach can do… Learn more by clicking here.
Tags: Add new tag, become a coach, change, coaching, coaching skills, finding purpose, judging others, life potential, new perspective, personal achievement, possibilities
Posted in Coaching and Coach Training, Life Potentials
26 Comments »
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