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May 8th, 2013
 ‘Why’ – one simple word that contains a powerful question within it.
There’s been a lot of focus on the power of “why,” in terms of understanding one’s motivation and what truly drives individuals to go after whatever it is they’re seeking.
I’d like to take a different look at ‘why’ in terms of understanding, well…anything! To do this, let’s be clear about what we want from ‘why.’ (Say that 10x fast!)
We don’t want to use ‘why’ to make people justify themselves. Someone shouldn’t be left thinking, “Why do I have to explain myself?” Instead, they should be thinking, “How can I explain myself?”
The first question represents someone in a defensive posture, while the second is about building understanding – and that’s what we want from ‘why.’
‘Why’ – when asked from a place of curiosity – can create great understanding and bridge immense gaps. A curious ‘why’ gets someone considering, “so what led me to think, feel, or do that?” “Hmmm…why did I approach it that way?”
Such curiosity can offer great self-awareness and insight.
And yet, all too often, we assume we know ‘why.’ We fill in the gaps of the story with our own version of ‘why,’ which, coincidentally, reinforces whatever view we already had. Funny how that works out!
So, next time you’re a little confounded by what’s going on, or when you feel yourself getting a little worked-up (at yourself or someone else), start asking yourself:
- Why do I think that’s the case?
- Why am I interpreting things this way?
- What’s leading me to draw that conclusion?
- What’s making me feel this way?
- Why does it have to be this way?
- Why couldn’t it be different?
But beware: you may just stumble onto a light bulb moment of deeper meaning and clearer understanding.
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, intentions, possibilities, power of why, reframing
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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December 17th, 2012
 Study your relationship with wisdom.
When you practice being wise, you break through limiting beliefs, assumptions, and interpretations. You see, when you accept the way things seem to be, you’re not looking at all the possibilities. Wisdom is not limited to “facts.” Wisdom means trusting the TRUTH within yourself more than you trust what most people believe is TRUE.
The truth is that we are, inherently, all geniuses. Once you can let go of the blocks that hold you back, you release the wisdom and the master within you and live closer to your potential. Wisdom is not a measurement of what you’ve learned. Wisdom is your inner capacity to know without learning. True wisdom allows you to go beyond what you believe is possible, and truly make a difference in the world.
Take a moment to consider how you have been measuring your level of wisdom. What definition has created your reality? What definition would you like to use from now on?
—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
(Today’s blog is excerpted from iPEC’s self-mastery personal development program, The Law of Being.)
Tags: encouragement, life potential, perspective, reframing, wisdom
Posted in Bruce D Schneider - iPEC Founder
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October 24th, 2012
 It’s kind of funny how a slight difference in words can mean a world of difference in their meaning.
One of my pet peeves is the misuse of “there, their, and they’re,” as is “your and you’re.” All are so similar, and all sound the same; yet, they’re different.
Not as often confused, but I believe more significant, is the difference between childish and childlike.
If you’re like me, and have children, you quite frequently get to see the difference between childish — and childlike — behavior.
My kids are young and it’s our responsibility to discourage childish actions and foster a childlike attitude. They’re kids. They’re learning.
Unfortunately, in daily life, we witness adults behaving childishly far too often. The “I was here first” attitude at the deli counter. Or the “It’s not my responsibility” demeanor in the workplace. Not sharing, selfishness, not considering the weight of one’s words, or the impact they have, are all childish.
Now, childlike behavior, I just smile thinking about.
It’s wonderment. It’s optimism. It’s playful, gleeful, joyful, hopeful. It’s laughing with friends. It’s playing games and even making up games. Using our imaginations. Being silly. Smiling at strangers. Looking up at the stars on a dark night. Caring about what’s right and true.
Being childlike is fun and full of life. It’s forward looking. These are the traits we should never lose.
I know… it’s not always that easy. As adults, we have responsibilities and commitments and deadlines. But, even with all the ills that we shoulder and try to protect our children from, we must not lose that spirit of our youth. We need to tear down our walls and stretch beyond our perceived boundaries. When we do, the energy of our youth will invigorate us. It will fuel our fires. And it will give us power and direction.
That child is there inside each of us. Let it play!
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, finding purpose, new perspective, opportunity, reframing
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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October 22nd, 2012
 What causes us to age, both biologically and emotionally?
It’s stress.
Stress taxes the body and mind, and usually results in people feeling as if they’re at the effect of life’s circumstances.
There are three main types of stress:
1. Physical Stress- on your body, from the work you do
2. Spiritual Stress- when your body, mind, and spirit aren’t consciously connected and you’re not following a purposeful path
3. Emotional Stress- caused by misperception of things that happen in your life
Everyone has stress in their lives and most people say they want less stress. But what people really want is to have less of a “stress reaction” to the things that are occurring in their lives and zapping their energy.
Don’t expect to eliminate stressors in life; it’s how you cope with them that matters.
When you notice that you’re feeling overwhelmed, what’s your strategy to regain control and lessen your stress reaction?
—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
(Today’s blog is excerpted from iPEC’s self-mastery personal development program, The Law of Being.)
Tags: change, choice, finding purpose, possibilities, reframing
Posted in Bruce D Schneider - iPEC Founder
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September 26th, 2012
My mother always told me there are two topics to avoid in friendly conversation: politics and religion. Apologies to my mom; however, I’m going to ignore that advice…just this once.
Granted, the news event I’m referencing below took place a few short months ago, but its lesson is timeless when it comes to illustrating my point.
In late June, news outlets were buzzing about what the Supreme Court ruling would decide with regards to passing the Affordable Health Care Act or, as popularly named, Obamacare.
One of the things I found most interesting was the ramp up and reporting of the decision by the various news outlets. CNN, FOX, and MSNBC were giddy with excitement. Predicting outcomes. Suggesting possible scenarios. Conjecturing about what the ‘fallout’ would be. Should the law stand or should it be struck down? How will it impact the presidential campaign?
Then the big day came, the moment for which they all were waiting. CNN and FOX jumped right in when preliminary details of the decision were released citing, “The Supreme Court struck down Obamacare!” “A huge defeat for the President; a boost for Mitt Romney!”
A crushing blow or a great victory — depending on which side of the debate you were aligned.
But, there was just one teeny, little problem. CNN and FOX jumped too quickly. The court let the Act stand. All this build up and hype…and they blew it! They were more interested in being first, than in being right. I just shook my head…and suddenly stopped myself.
I began to think of how many times, in the frenzy of the moment (for lack of a better term), I had blown it. How many times I’ve been geared up for something and charged full steam ahead, not paying attention to what was really happening. How I’ve sometimes been so focused on being first — on winning — that I ignored everything I know I’m supposed to do.
It happens. We’re all human. The important thing is to learn from these blunders. It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to fail. If you’re not erring, then you’re not challenging yourself enough.
The real important thing to focus on is ensuring we not repeat the actions that led us to those failures. We need to take off the red cape on occasion — look before we leap off the tallest rooftop. We need to dig in our hooves, stop in our tracks, and be aware of what caused us to come up short in our previous attempts, so that we don’t repeat that behavior.
Hopefully, the news networks will do this, too. (Oh, by the way, Dewey Beats Truman!)
What have some of your greatest lessons been as a result of acting in the frenzy of the moment?
Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
Tags: attitude, encouragement, new perspective, personal achievement, reframing
Posted in D. Luke Iorio - iPEC CEO
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