Coaching Excellence blog

A Coaching Moment: Who Are You Being, Right Now?

January 25th, 2012

Every moment asks you to show up in some way.  Consider, right now, who are you being?  How are you showing up?

In coaching sessions, I regularly hear from clients and students about situations that have them stressed and frustrated.  These situations are holding them back, getting in their way, blocking their options, or just not listening to what they want.  At the moments when you’re really pushing and trying to get ahead and getting the results you’re seeking, who are you being?

Unfortunately, these people and situations, which are “in the way,” didn’t get the memo about getting out of your way and changing to be how you want them to be.  As my very wise, very short, very Italian uncle used to so eloquently say, “Fuggedaboudit!” In fact, in these moments with your clients, the classic, quintessential break-up line is actually true: It’s not them; it’s you!

So I repeat, every moment asks you to show up in some way.  You are energized, engaged, and hopefully resolved to make a big impact this year.  And so are others!  They want to achieve just like you do.  What they want, how they want to show up, and how they want to get things done is up to them.  You can’t change them.  You can change you and what you want, how you show up, how you get things done, and who you want to be, as you’re doing it all is entirely within your control.

Be proactive.  Be intentional. Think about how you want to show up – when things are rolling, when things get bumpy, when things get confusing, and when things get exciting!

And then support yourself with reminders.  I have a client, right now, who set up his smart phone calendar to ask, “Who are being, right now?” at 4 pm, every day.  What routines are you establishing to help you follow through and reinforce how you’ve decided to show up?

Live on Fire!  {… and set a few reminders to keep you on track too!}

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

A Call for Resolve, Not Resolutions

January 4th, 2012

Forgive me, as this post will be a bit longer than usual, but I needed to get some things out.
There’s a character in Ayn Rand’s reputed and much discussed work, Atlas Shrugged, named John Galt.  In the first half of the book, characters, out of despair, use John Galt’s name as a reason to give up (meaning only a mythological, made up person like Galt could answer, solve, or fix this situation).  The story reveals that Galt is a real person (“character”) and, ultimately, comes to symbolize the power and potential of the human mind.

Why am I telling you this?  To be honest, I hear a lot of despair and resignation in conversations today.  Whether it’s in the corporate, education, non-profit, health care, or law enforcement communities (or, frankly, in the general life arena too), I often hear people talk about what can’t be changed, what can’t be solved, and how little power they have to change things.

We see a gridlocked political system, a struggling and complex economy, a discouraged and disengaged workforce, and we begin to question what’s possible. These are situations that have been in the making for quite some time. Despite how hard these past few years have been on a great many people, it may prove that this period in time was very much needed.

We needed to question ourselves — and the process is still going on — which is why I’m writing this now.  The process is at a critical time.  We are at a time of great choice.  We can continue to despair.  We can be apathetic.  We can even get angry and frustrated, and yell about what “they” have done to this country and the world (whoever “they” is).  We can continue to howl at the moon – but other than possibly providing a much-needed stress release, where’s the howling getting you? Us?

So here we are, another New Year has arrived, and with it, possibly, a list of resolutions ready to go.  How many of those resolutions have you seen on your list before (…perhaps even year after year)?

What’s the real purpose behind the resolutions that you’ve made?

For those past resolutions that you may have checked off and accomplished, it was for this reason (and the same reason why the others may still be on your list): you were RESOLUTE.  Let Congress pass resolutions (assuming Congress actually passes anything these days); instead, we need to be resolved.

Resolute (as defined by Webster)
(1)    marked by firm determination
(2)    bold, steady

If you’re going to be marked by firm determination, if you’re going to be bold, then you’re likely driven by a great sense of purpose – a purpose that’s aligned with your values, your vision, and a far-reaching, inspiring goal.

When setting your sights this year, consider:

-    What impact do you want to have on your life, career, or business?
-    What impact might you want to have on the lives, careers, or businesses of others?
-    Who do you want to be as you make these impacts?
-    How do you want to infuse what you do with your values and strengths?
-    How do you want to unleash the power and potential of your true capacity?
-    What does this suggest for a big, inspiring, perhaps extraordinarily audacious goal?

And last, consider why this big goal or vision is extremely important to you. What does it say about you and the mark you want to make on your life or in the world?

Don’t just make a resolution; be resolute.

Consider that this year, you’re the entrepreneur, musician, artist, creator, innovator, activator, initiator, finisher, leader, and lover.  A resolute fire burns inside us all. Will you let it fuel you to greatness…and beyond?  Or will you let it burn you up?

We – as a community, society, and a country – need you.  It’s time to stop waiting, to come back out, to speak up, to get involved, to take action, to lead.

If you haven’t heard your own inner voice calling for greatness, then here it is.  I’m calling you out – loudly, directly, overtly, and passionately. Will you answer?

Please share your insights and what you’re resolved to accomplish, and be, this year.

If this message speaks to you, and puts words to something you’ve felt but haven’t yet said, share it widely.  If nothing else, consider what this means to you and to your life, and how you’ll show up in it from this point forward.

Let’s roll.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

The Energy Spiral

October 12th, 2011

When viewing things from a catabolic perspective, every circumstance, conversation, and person that relates to that situation will be viewed similarly.  Each view will reinforce the original, catabolic view and deepen it, bringing about more catabolic energy — spiraling “downward,” as it were.

Conversely, the same holds true for anabolic energy.  It’s an expansive cycle that builds momentum, making it easier and easier to view the world from an anabolic perspective – essentially, spiraling upward.

These spirals will continue until interrupted, which inevitably occurs.  And this is where the rubber meets the proverbial road. If the pattern is interrupted, and your overall energetic profile is catabolic, you may experience a brief reprieve, but you’re not likely to learn much from the experience, if anything. You won’t use it to expand your awareness and the experience will provide more evidence for why life is a constant struggle.

If you have a mostly anabolic profile, you’ll use all experiences – catabolic or anabolic – as a means to better understand yourself, what works for you, what could be better, how to repeat successful spirals more often, etc.  In fact, it’s at these times that an individual with an anabolic profile will also plant seeds and memory triggers that will help them interrupt future catabolic patterns – leading to “catching” themselves earlier on in the spiral.

Which spiral you enter into and how long it lasts is really up to you.  Life and work operate in these cycles and patterns all the time.  How you choose to plan for it, interrupt patterns you don’t want, and recreate patterns you do, are all up to you.

How will you plan? How will you recognize which spiral you’re in?  And what will you do at those times?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

P.S. Living on Fire doesn’t mean fighting life’s patterns and tendencies; it means gaining knowledge about them and from them.  It’s about using those experiences to give you more fuel for the future.

Are You Holding Back?

October 10th, 2011

Too many people take life too seriously and things too personally.

Sometimes, due to our worrying about upsetting another person, we hold back from connecting with them. Instead, being open and honest will lead to a greater connection. Just keep one thing in mind: if your intentions are pure, then a simple apology will clean anything up that may have been received as inappropriate.

This week, don’t worry about what people think; truly connect instead.

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder,
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Victim or Leader? You Choose!

October 3rd, 2011

“You really don’t have to be concerned with choosing your reality. Your fears will choose it for you.”

People either make choices from fear or love. Those who make choices from fear are victims in life, waiting until things happen to them, and because they wait, they remain defensive to life. In many cases, victims also make choices out of avoidance, the lesser of two evils.

People who choose from love are those who are proactive, consciously making decisions based on what they want, not on what they want to avoid. They are the leaders of their world and, more importantly, of their lives.

This week, when faced with a choice, clear your mind, relax, and choose from love.

—Bruce D Schneider, MCC, PhD
Founder,
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)