As most of you know, we are all energy. Energy is either anabolic (this builds you up) or catabolic (this breaks you down). It’s important to note that everything in our lives, including tasks, goals, relationships, jobs, etc., are either anabolic or catabolic as well.
Consider all the things in your life that help you, or hinder you, from being the best you can be. To get the most energy out of life, you’ll need to decide what energy (people, places, and things) you want to keep, and what you want to let go.
This week, make an inventory of the people, places, and things in your life and decide whether they are anabolic or catabolic. For the catabolic items, think about how you can change them or let them go.
We’re excited to have Erika Wendy Schneider as our guest blogger today. At the ripe, young age of 15, Erika wrote this thoughtful paper on Coaching for one of her classes. Her perspective has no doubt been shaped and influenced by her dad, iPEC’s Founder & Chairman, Bruce D Schneider.
Life Coaching
“Going from functional to optimal [is what it’s about],” declares Deborah Van de Grift, V.P. of iPEC Coaching.
All forms of coaching—personal, business, and life—have been proven to work exceptionally well in the lives of individuals yearning for a chance, a change, and opportunities of various sorts. Coaching has evolved considerably over the years and never fails to impact one’s lifestyle when the client has an open mind and plenty of commitment. The right coach will help the client to a flourishing path using essential keys and building blocks to success.
Life coaching, using infiltrating techniques, indisputable focus, and accountability, is the prime method of moving on from the past, creating and indulging in long term goals, finding one’s purpose, and creating a desirable future.
“[Coaching is] an extraordinary and unique relationship designed to create a significant impact and sustainable results in all areas of a person’s life” (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching).
While therapy and counseling concentrate on the past and how to cope, coaching is designed to assist the client in moving on from the past and looking to the future. Though coaching does recognize the past, as it’s what makes a person who they are in present day, coaching’s aim is for the client to learn from the past and transition from “why did this happen?” to “how can I learn and grow from what happened?”
Therapy aims to heal issues and create a healthy lifestyle and coaching’s focus is to take this concept to the next level, developing a remarkable lifestyle for an already healthy person.The objective is for the client to distinguish the essentiality of having goals and how they could be effectively put to use with the right attitude.
“While consulting is about the consultant delivering the right answers, coaching is about asking the right questions” (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching).
The most important aspect of coaching is the accountability of the client. Depending on the willingness of the client, coaching will prove successful in expanding the capacity in which the client creates solutions for him or herself. The right coach—deciphered by the compatibility of each specific forte the client has—will help the client achieve enhancement of awareness and emotional intelligence while challenging his or her fundamental interpretations, conflicts within their comfort zone, and a perspective that is lacking in some significant way.
The client chooses their own goals, aided and guided by the coach, who, trained professionally into precision, will know just the right moment at the exact time to trigger an epiphany within the client and open up doors that have never been touched upon beforehand. With this, not only will the client find an abundant transition in the way s/he interacts with everyone around him/her, but how he/she sees and defines him or herself.
“My coach awakened me to discover the practical and realistic steps to actually turn my dream into reality,” says Gena Lindquist of Portsmouth, Virginia.
Finding an ideal career and taking full advantage is only one of the many accomplishments one could obtain after the process of working with a coach. In popular cases, clients will initially be reluctant to trust and listen to themselves, and will eventually feel refreshed and self-confident, knowing more about themselves than ever imagined.
Some who question their purpose of existence have found a satisfaction to their itch to discover why, realizing their focus is to live life to the fullest and do anything probable to make themselves known to not only the individuals around them, but themselves as well. They will learn to enjoy, rather than react to life. Clients will learn to acquire a voice, a mind, and a drive to be who they are: outstanding, excellent people ready to begin a brand new and brilliant lifestyle.
“Life coaches assist you to become the World’s Leading Expert on you!” (The Coach Connection).
Finding oneself is arguably the greatest challenge one could face over the course of life. To find themselves, people usually search outside, hoping someone or something will magically give them some answers. Of the many things coaching can do, one of the most powerful is to remind people that they already have the answers within themselves. Coaches empower people to remember those answers and not only find themselves, but see their place, and find their peace, in the world. With empowerment comes confidence, a perceptibly valuable shift within oneself and the ability to define and create an extraordinary life — precisely and appreciably from the core.
In this week’s video blog post by Zack Lemelle, iPEC’s Managing Partner of Corporate Engagement Services, Zack discusses his definition of leadership and how it has affected not only the way he works within the organizations that he leads, but the overall culture of the organization itself. Check out the video below, then in the comment section, let us know YOUR definition of leadership.
Remember that terrible old “break up” line… “No, no, really… it’s not you, it’s me.” Well, sometimes it seems that history is not without a sense of irony.
The Norm: When situations get frustrating and are not living up to our expectations, we begin looking at who is causing the situation. We can’t possibly be the source. It must be elsewhere… right?
But alas, it’s not them, it’s you/us!
We see the world through our perceptions, through our past experiences, and through our values. This forms our “filter” for viewing life and for how we act and react in any situation. So we act and perceive based on our filters; just like others act and perceive based on theirs…
See how quickly “reality” becomes quite “relative” depending who you are in this particular scenario?
Key point: Notice that others are simply interpreting and acting based on how they see the world, and you are doing the same, based on how you see the world?
This is just a normal cycle in our everyday lives. Individuals – who are empowered, who positively impact and influence others, and (dare I say) who lead others – choose not to get caught up in this cycle. Instead they know it is part of the game of life, and they have fun with it. They are quick to identify and check their own perceptions – recognizing their perception is exactly this: theirs, and no one else’s.
When you don’t see a situation the same way as someone else, or someone doesn’t see it your way, don’t let frustration or aggravation get in your way. Instead know that differences are to be expected, welcomed, AND understood.
Know that if you have a “negative” reaction to a situation or another person, that it’s really telling you something about YOURSELF.
You can spend your time wishing the other person will change or wake up or you can focus on yourself and be aware of what perceptions that you have that may be causing any feelings of negativity. One path will lead to frustration; the other to fulfillment.
So, a helpful little takeaway: Walk with a mirror – meaning, when you want a different result, when you want something to change, stop looking to others for that change, and instead focus in on the one thing you can change – you!
In our society today, “connections” is a huge buzz word. If you are connected, you are someone who has access to and influence with the “right” people. The “right” people will vary depending on certain situations that arise. It is the connections you have and the amount of influence you have with them, along with your belief in yourself that will provide strength, security, and the means for creating abundance in all areas of your life.
Real and meaningful connections are those which you can call on at a moment’s notice. These vital connections provide non-judgmental support, assistance, creativity and knowledge. Being connected whether in business or personally, provides a sense of ease in your life.
It may be said that connections equal power. It may also be said that connections equal life.
As we know from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, one of the six basic needs is the need for socialization – love, friendship and comradeship. This is a need for love and belonging. This is a need for basic human contact. In fact, this is a need for connection.
The real beauty and value of connections is the way they make you feel. Connections provide security, freedom, opportunity, friendship and grace. Real connections make you feel capable, unstoppable and more expansive than you might otherwise feel as an individual.
Here are 7 tips for making and nurturing real connections in life:
1. Be yourself. Be real. Pretense in any situation can be dangerous. When you meet someone, simply be yourself. You may choose to put your best foot forward and be “your best self” and that is perfect. People who resonate with your personality and energy will be drawn to you. You will find that being yourself at all times, makes for a life filled with ease, grace, and less stress.
2. Be likeable. You know there is a part of you that is truly likeable, engaging and attractive. There is a part of you that people are drawn to and want to be around. If you take stock of how you are “being”, you will know whether you are being charming or uninviting. Always “check your attitude” at the door and choose to be the likeable you!
3. Express gratitude freely. It is said that you learn much about an individual’s character by how she speaks of others. Know that words have power. Any thanks or praise, that you can give about another person gives power to everyone in the transaction. Power is heightened for the individual you share it with, the individual you share it about, and also for you. It is always appropriate to express gratitude.
4. Be present. No matter where you are or what you are doing, give yourself freely to the people that surround you, the task at hand, and the individuals who will be affected by your actions, words, and presence. Put aside the chatter of your mind, clear your plate, and simply be present. Being present is a gift for you and everyone else touched in the moment.
5. Make new connections at every opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have time for another person in your life, think again. There is always room for someone with good energy, an open spirit, and the “right” connections. When you choose to expand the circles of your life, you are choosing to expand yourself. Expansion is exciting, empowering, exhilarating, and fun. You never know where a connection will lead, because you never know who or what anyone knows until you open up to them. The next person you meet may be holding the answer to your questions. She may be the perfect connection for you. Get connected.
6. Reach out and touch someone. The human touch contains more energy than any word, thought or material item. Touching someone makes an instant connection. They will pay closer attention to you, they will feel more a part of the conversation, and they will feel that you care about them. A touch can be a small gesture like a handshake or a hand placed on their arm or shoulder. A touch can also be a bigger gesture like a hug, a kiss or holding hands. No matter the length or intensity, a touch commits your energy to the other person and creates an immediate physical bond. This will create, enhance and strengthen your intellectual and emotional bond and supply meaning to the conversation, the topic and your relationship. Perhaps above all, touching feels good.
7. Use wisely your power of choice. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in each day. How do you use yours? Are you honoring yourself and your time? If you do not have a big, huge “why” for how you are spending your time and who you are sharing it with, and if you are not enjoying yourself, do something else. Seriously, find other people to hang around with, do business with and live with. Move if you have to. Physically move from your space, whether this means taking two steps back or moving to another community. The connections of your life matter. Find something and someone you completely love. Find something and someone who makes your heart sing. Find something and someone who inspires you. When you do, you will know the beauty and joy of real connections. Today is not a dress rehearsal. It’s your life.
Remember this: YOU decide who your connections are. YOU get to choose. Choose to create and nurture connections that serve you. Choose connections that make you feel good. And always, always, choose to enjoy the process. Now, that’s Powerful!
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About Sue Urda:
Sue Urda is Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, an Award-Winning Author, Speaker and Inspirer. She is a two-time honoree on Inc. Magazine’s list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies and has learned the secret of living from her heart. Through Powerful You! Inc, Sue designs venues for women to connect with each other and themselves. You are invited to join Sue’s network, regional and national events: Women Living Consciously Conference, Transformation 2010 National Tour and Powerful You! Women’s Network. Visit Sue’s website at: www.powerfulyou.com
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