You know those moments when life pushed back on you, and you decided to simply step back, look around, and take another path to where you wanted to go? Those moments where you should have faltered, you should have let the weight of the world slow you down? Instead, you simply shrugged, and kept moving. Not sure yet? Then let’s create some inspiration with your response-ability, and then you’ll realize you’ve had this ability all along.
• What situations do you have in your life that you feel are beyond your control?
• What have you been trying to achieve, but are losing momentum because it just hasn’t happened yet?
• What does someone close to you do that really pushes your buttons, or you feel shows a lack of caring for you?
• How are you reacting to these situations, instead of responding?
Reactions are instinctual; they’re ingrained… they’re the unconscious, automatic behaviors that get triggered by difficult situations.
Responses (and practicing your response-ability), on the other hand, are conscious. You take in the information around you – looking more widely, instead of narrowly. You take your emotions, perceptions, and even the pressure you feel to fire off that “gut instinct” reply and you pause – if ever so briefly – so that your circumstances are not in control of you. So, now for those situations above…
• What possible outcomes would you really like to have?
• How is what you’re doing, right now, getting you that?
• What are a few other responses that you could employ, which would bring you closer, or even help you achieve, what you’re really after?
• How are you going to put this new response into practice?
Response-ability is about slowing down just long enough to choose your response and, in doing so, breaking the cycle of unconscious behavior and changing the course of your day, your month, your year, and maybe even… your life!
So, what responses are you going to adopt in the next week to bring about the changes and results you want?
Until next time, Live on Fire!
D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)