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March 3rd, 2010
In our society today, “connections” is a huge buzz word. If you are connected, you are someone who has access to and influence with the “right” people. The “right” people will vary depending on certain situations that arise. It is the connections you have and the amount of influence you have with them, along with your belief in yourself that will provide strength, security, and the means for creating abundance in all areas of your life.
Real and meaningful connections are those which you can call on at a moment’s notice. These vital connections provide non-judgmental support, assistance, creativity and knowledge. Being connected whether in business or personally, provides a sense of ease in your life.
It may be said that connections equal power. It may also be said that connections equal life.
As we know from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, one of the six basic needs is the need for socialization – love, friendship and comradeship. This is a need for love and belonging. This is a need for basic human contact. In fact, this is a need for connection.
The real beauty and value of connections is the way they make you feel. Connections provide security, freedom, opportunity, friendship and grace. Real connections make you feel capable, unstoppable and more expansive than you might otherwise feel as an individual.
Here are 7 tips for making and nurturing real connections in life:
1. Be yourself. Be real. Pretense in any situation can be dangerous. When you meet someone, simply be yourself. You may choose to put your best foot forward and be “your best self” and that is perfect. People who resonate with your personality and energy will be drawn to you. You will find that being yourself at all times, makes for a life filled with ease, grace, and less stress.
2. Be likeable. You know there is a part of you that is truly likeable, engaging and attractive. There is a part of you that people are drawn to and want to be around. If you take stock of how you are “being”, you will know whether you are being charming or uninviting. Always “check your attitude” at the door and choose to be the likeable you!
3. Express gratitude freely. It is said that you learn much about an individual’s character by how she speaks of others. Know that words have power. Any thanks or praise, that you can give about another person gives power to everyone in the transaction. Power is heightened for the individual you share it with, the individual you share it about, and also for you. It is always appropriate to express gratitude.
4. Be present. No matter where you are or what you are doing, give yourself freely to the people that surround you, the task at hand, and the individuals who will be affected by your actions, words, and presence. Put aside the chatter of your mind, clear your plate, and simply be present. Being present is a gift for you and everyone else touched in the moment.
5. Make new connections at every opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have time for another person in your life, think again. There is always room for someone with good energy, an open spirit, and the “right” connections. When you choose to expand the circles of your life, you are choosing to expand yourself. Expansion is exciting, empowering, exhilarating, and fun. You never know where a connection will lead, because you never know who or what anyone knows until you open up to them. The next person you meet may be holding the answer to your questions. She may be the perfect connection for you. Get connected.
6. Reach out and touch someone. The human touch contains more energy than any word, thought or material item. Touching someone makes an instant connection. They will pay closer attention to you, they will feel more a part of the conversation, and they will feel that you care about them. A touch can be a small gesture like a handshake or a hand placed on their arm or shoulder. A touch can also be a bigger gesture like a hug, a kiss or holding hands. No matter the length or intensity, a touch commits your energy to the other person and creates an immediate physical bond. This will create, enhance and strengthen your intellectual and emotional bond and supply meaning to the conversation, the topic and your relationship. Perhaps above all, touching feels good.
7. Use wisely your power of choice. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in each day. How do you use yours? Are you honoring yourself and your time? If you do not have a big, huge “why” for how you are spending your time and who you are sharing it with, and if you are not enjoying yourself, do something else. Seriously, find other people to hang around with, do business with and live with. Move if you have to. Physically move from your space, whether this means taking two steps back or moving to another community. The connections of your life matter. Find something and someone you completely love. Find something and someone who makes your heart sing. Find something and someone who inspires you. When you do, you will know the beauty and joy of real connections. Today is not a dress rehearsal. It’s your life.
Remember this: YOU decide who your connections are. YOU get to choose. Choose to create and nurture connections that serve you. Choose connections that make you feel good. And always, always, choose to enjoy the process. Now, that’s Powerful!
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About Sue Urda:
Sue Urda is Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, an Award-Winning Author, Speaker and Inspirer. She is a two-time honoree on Inc. Magazine’s list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies and has learned the secret of living from her heart. Through Powerful You! Inc, Sue designs venues for women to connect with each other and themselves. You are invited to join Sue’s network, regional and national events: Women Living Consciously Conference, Transformation 2010 National Tour and Powerful You! Women’s Network. Visit Sue’s website at: www.powerfulyou.com
Tags: Add new tag, attitude, choice, connections, creativity, encouragement, finding purpose, gratitude, intentions, Networking, Powerful You!, values, workforce engagement
Posted in Networking
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March 1st, 2010
These days, more and more of us are freelancing, or running solo businesses.
The life of a solo practitioner can be a lonely one. Alone in your office or home, without the stimulation of colleagues and the energy of a busy office or institution, it can be a challenge to maintain your positive energy and stay motivated.
In other words, the life of a “solopreneur” can be a lonely one.
For those who chose that route because of all the benefits it offers – being your own boss, choosing your own clients, setting your own schedule – there are a number of ways to stay sharp and positive.
Attitude is everything! Believe in yourself and the work that you are doing and don’t let negative people get you down.
Surround yourself with positive people – clients, friends, family, partners. Working with clients who are passionate and excited about what they do and who have reasonable expectations of what you can do for them will keep you motivated and interested. Friends and family help to keep you grounded, and their faith in you is invaluable. A good job coach can also help you to remain motivated and to focus on your goals, both professional and personal.
Speaking of goals, focusing on short-term, realistic goals will also help to keep you motivated. Think about your client load, their expectations, and how much work you can reasonably handle without driving yourself crazy.
Be realistic about your strengths as a sole practitioner and reach out to others to help you with everything else. Better to play to your strengths, and hire talent to fill the gaps, rather than struggle to be good at everything..
As you work with clients to help them achieve their goals, keep your own goals in mind. Visualize what you want to accomplish and remain faithful to that. Focus on the larger goals.
Keeping a positive attitude can be difficult when things don’t go exactly as planned. Take time to work through the negative feelings, realizing that they are temporary, and work at getting back to a positive place.
When things don’t work out as planned, turn disappointments into opportunities for growth. Learn from failure and use it to build success.
And finally, be good to yourself. Take time for friends and family. Step away from the computer. Put down the Blackberry. Eat well, get enough sleep, and indulge your passions. Nourish yourself.
Tags: attitude, choice, intentions, new perspective, opportunity, personal achievement, reframing, workforce engagement
Posted in Business Development, Law of Being, Life Potentials
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February 19th, 2010
It’s one of the toughest times ever — both for those out of work and perhaps, even more, for those who have held on to their jobs. The plain fact is that employees need to cover more work with less available resources in order for their companies to survive, let alone thrive. Employers, on the other hand, require employees who understand just how much is at stake and who are just as invested as the top executives are in making things work.
Employers have been able to hold onto top talent because of the poor economy, but that may no longer be enough to retain those high performers, especially when the economic climate improves. The number of Americans who reported being happy with their careers dropped to an all-time low — 45 percent — in a new Conference Board survey that found people are more miserable than ever in nearly every aspect of their work lives.
What can you, as an employer, do to increase motivation and engagement and help those employees you value through challenging times? How can you, as a leader, set the tone and motivate and inspire your team, leading to a happier and more productive workplace? (Remember, when things get better, you don’t want to lose your best workers - retraining and rehiring is an expensive proposition!)
Employees are looking for true leaders…who can talk AND walk like true coaches! “Nothing is better than a leader who understands the value of the coaching process, who learns from his or her own coach, and then takes those skills into the workplace to develop and lead a team,” comments Ed Abel, President of Abel Institute, an international leader in business coaching, whose company develops business owners into powerful business leaders.
Here are just a few great skills that all leaders can develop, courtesy of iPEC Coaching:
• Share the vision and empower employees to contribute their ideas and give feedback. Ask more questions than you answer, and seek to get “buy in” to the plan. Ask questions like, “what does the plan need in order to make it work for you?”
• Don’t make promises you can’t keep – employees appreciate honesty! Level with your team and show that you are committed to helping them.
• Listen to your employees’ concerns, and acknowledge and validate their fears. Focus not only on “what” they say, but on the context of the message (where are they truly coming from? why are saying what they are saying? what does their tone tell you? other non-verbal cues?).
• Celebrate successes and give recognition. Adam Gostick and Chester Elton, in “The Carrot Principle: How Great Managers Use Employee Recognition,” write “For organizations that do it right, it’s a bit like discovering gold in your backyard. Employee recognition, long considered a benefit that costs money, can actually be a management tool that makes money.”
• Find out what internal drivers motivate your employees (it’s not a one size fits all approach) — is it more exposure, creative outlets, time off, etc? What else will speak to their individual needs? Then create opportunities that play to these drivers.
• Lead by example, and with integrity: D. Luke Iorio, President of iPEC Coaching comments, “It’s often been said that true leaders emerge when times are tough – it’s what you do in the difficult times that makes you a leader; and this is when your integrity will be tested the most… When your actions match your message and your decisions match your principles, others view you as genuine, authentic and trustworthy. They will follow your lead.”
Tags: achievement, adversity, attitude, business coach, coach training, encouragement, intentions, leadership, mentor coach, opportunity, workforce engagement
Posted in Business Development, Coaching and Coach Training, Current Affairs, Energy Leadership, Life Potentials
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February 16th, 2010
Strangers in the night and love is in the air! It’s that time of the year for couples to show unconditional love and whisper sweet nothings followed up with beautiful smelling red roses and cherry filled chocolates. So what should one do for this day of love? Here’s a suggestion; if you’re happily involved in a healthy, loving relationship make it point to make Valentine’s Day extra special. Be sure to be creative and think out of the box. Of course you can always have a romantic dinner and send flowers, and this is great but let’s really show some love and let her see your romantic side. Here’s a tip for you; make romantic plans for the two of you to share cozy an d memorable moment that will last you a lifetime. Instead of watching the sunset, pack a picnic basket with some hot cocoa, marsh-mellows and a warm blanket and watch the Sun rise!
That’s right; I said “watch the sun rise!”Just before sunrise is one of the most beautiful times of day, it’s peaceful and you can watch nature as she un-veils life right before your eyes. Think about it, a romantic date in the morning…sounds exciting doesn’t it? I can assure you that your date will certainly be surprised by it.
Often, simplicity is absolutely the best policy. Your location can be anywhere you’d like. Even in your own backyard. All that matters is the two of you sharing a romantic moment as you watch the night fade, and the sun awaken the world around you… now that’s romantic!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Shelby M. Hill, MBA, CPC
www.ShelbyMHill.com
www.ItsComplicatedOnline.com
Posted in Uncategorized
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February 15th, 2010
Today we celebrate Washington’s Birthday, also commonly known as Presidents Day. What a great day to recognize our first president, George Washington, and, while we are at it, recognize all those Chief Executives who came after him. While we may not always agree with some of their politics, they have often inspired and motivated us with their powerful words.
Here are a few great quotes from past presidents upon which to reflect.
George Washington: “A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.”
Here Washington is speaking about integrity, knowing yourself and what you stand for, and then making decisions, presenting yourself, and acting upon those beliefs. Integrity is perhaps best demonstrated when the leader has become the message, and is not simply the messenger — meaning they truly “walk the walk.”
Abraham Lincoln: “Good things may come to those who wait, but only those things left behind by those who hustle.”
Great leaders know that progress cannot continue until decisions are made. They get clear on their decision making criteria, consciously walk through their decision making process, and know how to balance the need for more information with the opportunity that could be lost by delaying the decision.
Harry Truman… “The buck stops here.”
A lesson in responsibility: Leaders take responsibility for their own actions, and hold themselves accountable. They aren’t about finger-pointing, and they are clear about their role in every decision and issue. They “own” their part.
Ronald Reagan: “Trust but verify.”
A lesson in accountability: Accountability is not “looking over someone’s shoulder” because you don’t trust them. In ensuring that all’s been done according to plan, you can move forward to what’s next. If there’s trust, it means there’s no reason you can’t hold someone accountable, nor should they mind. They actually will view it as someone looking to support them in making sure they have followed through
with plan and purpose.
And remember, you don’t have to be a President to be a leader. A leader is the individual in an interaction who knowingly or unknowingly creates the greater influence on the other person. It’s not about whether you are a leader, it is about how well you lead! What kind of leader do you want to be?
Happy President’s Day!
Tags: become a coach, leadership, motivation, President's Day, workforce engagement
Posted in Current Affairs, Energy Leadership, Life Potentials
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