Coaching Excellence blog

Building Networks of Trust

May 9th, 2013

We’re happy to have Paul Garro, Executive Director of City Year San Antonio, as our guest blogger. A featured speaker for iPEC’s “Dialogue Among Thought Leaders” series, Paul has been successfully serving the educational community for 20+ years.  In addition, he’s been a national consultant for “Teaching the Hard to Reach,” and has authored the first of a series of books entitled, “Classrooms of Inspiration.”

So, what builds trust?

For starters, a strong foundation for trust develops when you expose your limitations, own your actions, and admit that you can’t get everything done all by yourself. In fact, vulnerability and humility have the effect of gathering people together to shape meaning and motivate change.

Trust is also built by a demonstration of our values. When leaders stay true to their values, and their actions are aligned with what they say, confidence begins to build in the people they lead. In essence, these leaders develop powerful vulnerability, which translates into demonstrated integrity — one of the very cornerstones for building trust.

In the Corporation for National & Community Service’s study, “Volunteering and Civic Life in America,” participants from various cities across the country were asked to rate their level of trust in their neighborhoods, public schools, corporations, and the media. While neighborhoods and public schools had the highest levels of trust, corporations and the media were shown to have much lower levels, revealing the tremendous opportunity that exists to connect with our communities and become trusted partners.

How do we break down barriers and build bridges in order to capitalize on this opportunity and formulate trust? In other words, how do we creatively form relationships on our way to successfully building trusted community networks?

Being well-versed in your beliefs, and in your craft, allows you to embody your values and develop strategic relationships with the people and organizations within your communities. From these relationships, your academic organization can build a trusted portfolio of business and community network partners.

So, spend some time with a bit of self-reflection on these seemingly simple, yet powerful, questions:

-  How well versed am I in who I am?

-  How well versed am I in my craft?

To be sure, listening is also key, as is finding the commonality that exists between your organization and those within your community. Be bold and persistent in finding that commonality; it’s the fuel that will spark your ability to build networks of trust.

When you combine these elements together, you’ll also portray a sense of confidence  – confidence in your yourself and in your mission. With trust and confidence, and community alignment, you’ll be amazed by what you’ll be able to accomplish together.

Again, powerful vulnerability, that sense that you don’t have all the answers, that you can’t go it alone, is what paves the way for building, and sustaining, these all-important networks of trust. While they help to provide us with the strategic levers necessary to catapult the trajectory of our organization to an entirely new level (e.g., increasing its capacity for change, propelling its growth), perhaps most important of all is our shared ability to deliver a positive social return to our communities.

What do you see as possible within your organization, and across your community, by tapping into your own powerful vulnerability? And, how can you be a disciple in building communities of trust?

Paul Garro
Executive Director
City Year San Antonio

*The image above is an actual painting by Paul Garro, which not only reflects his artistic talents and immense creativity; it’s also a very personal reflection of his heart-centered approach as a servant leader.

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The Power of “Why”

May 8th, 2013

Photo Attribution: Wiertz Sabastien (Flickr)‘Why’ – one simple word that contains a powerful question within it.

There’s been a lot of focus on the power of “why,” in terms of understanding one’s motivation and what truly drives individuals to go after whatever it is they’re seeking.

I’d like to take a different look at ‘why’ in terms of understanding, well…anything! To do this, let’s be clear about what we want from ‘why.’ (Say that 10x fast!)

We don’t want to use ‘why’ to make people justify themselves.  Someone shouldn’t be left thinking, “Why do I have to explain myself?” Instead, they should be thinking, “How can I explain myself?”

The first question represents someone in a defensive posture, while the second is about building understanding – and that’s what we want from ‘why.’

‘Why’ – when asked from a place of curiosity – can create great understanding and bridge immense gaps. A curious ‘why’ gets someone considering, “so what led me to think, feel, or do that?” “Hmmm…why did I approach it that way?”

Such curiosity can offer great self-awareness and insight.

And yet, all too often, we assume we know ‘why.’ We fill in the gaps of the story with our own version of ‘why,’ which, coincidentally, reinforces whatever view we already had. Funny how that works out!

So, next time you’re a little confounded by what’s going on, or when you feel yourself getting a little worked-up (at yourself or someone else), start asking yourself:

- Why do I think that’s the case?
- Why am I interpreting things this way?
- What’s leading me to draw that conclusion?
- What’s making me feel this way?
- Why does it have to be this way?
- Why couldn’t it be different?

But beware: you may just stumble onto a light bulb moment of deeper meaning and clearer understanding.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

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Let’s Be Better…Everyday

April 25th, 2013

The past several days have been quite eye opening. Photo Attribution: Katerha (Flickr)

I was rapt watching the coverage on TV recently, reporting on the manhunt in Boston for “Suspect #2.”  Flipping through the channels on my remote, I was trying to see if any station had markedly different coverage than the other, but the information being reported was basically the same.

While contemplating what happened, and analyzing my thoughts, I found myself trying to comprehend the “why” of it all. What leads people to their actions?  What’s the energy or motivating factor behind it all?

I wish, like everyone else probably does, that there were simple answers. There aren’t. It’s not as if simple answers would bring solace to the victims of tragedies like this latest one in Boston; perhaps it’s just my way of trying to comprehend something that I find completely incomprehensible.

What can we take away from the Boston Marathon bombings, the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, the Aurora movie theater massacre, and too many other attacks, that can give us hope?

One thing I can point to is the bravery of those first responders and civilians who run to the trouble and not from it. They see someone who needs help and literally risk their lives to offer that aid. They pull twisted wreckage off the victims. They offer medical treatment as best as they can. They carry the wounded away from the danger. They comfort those who have lost someone dear to them.

Those not directly impacted, or who are hundreds and thousands of miles away, offer support by donating food and clothing, giving blood, raising funds for charities, and standing together to show unity and sympathy.

Closer to home, I remember the days and weeks after 9-11. We all seemed to be a bit nicer to each other. A little more tolerant and forgiving. More caring.

You and I alone aren’t going to solve all of the world’s “challenges.” We can, however, make our little parts of it better. Let’s try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. To smile more. To tell those we love that we do. Help a neighbor or a stranger. Let’s make an effort to just be nicer. Everyday.

I’m committed to it. And if you are too, I’d love you to share what you experience through this commitment in the “Comments” section below.

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

 

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Masters of Fate

April 5th, 2013

Photo Attribution: Horia Varlan (Flickr)Although the ‘Ides of March’ have passed, it’s never too late to find meaning in it. For those who may need a refresher, March 15th is the Ides of March – the day Julius Caesar was warned about by a soothsayer. It would be the day he was killed.

I will freely admit that being forced to read Shakespeare in high school wasn’t exactly something I thoroughly relished, but I do recall that The Bard’s Julius Caesar was one that I didn’t mind. (Hey, I was a kid; my tastes are more refined, now!)

There’s a great line in the play. Act I, Scene 2 – Cassius is trying to convince Brutus that Caesar has to be stopped from becoming the ruler of Rome. Cassius expresses that he doesn’t want to serve under Caesar, but would rather Brutus join in the conspiracy to assassinate him.

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

That line was written over 400 years ago, yet it’s still powerful. You see, Cassius is saying that it’s man’s actions and decisions that dictate their situations - not fate.

Fortunately, assassination is much less acceptable today than in ancient Rome, but the message still holds true. We’re not victims of some unseen force (the stars). We’re the ones responsible for being the change we desire (ourselves).

We often hear how something was “just in the cards” or “meant to happen.” Sometimes it’s easier just to think the stars caused it. That’s tantamount to throwing up our hands and saying, “Oh, well.”

It’s not what happens that matters; it’s what we do about what happens that’s important. Unplanned situations and challenges are always going to arise. Heck, that’s the fun of living. It’d be a pretty boring world if we always knew what was going to transpire. The real satisfaction comes from boldly facing and overcoming the situations and obstacles we encounter. Having a plan, setting goals, and monitoring our progress is vital, and so is being able to adapt on the fly and not succumbing to the notion that things are out of our control.

As Cassius also said, “Men…are masters of their fates.”

How do you make a conscious choice, everyday, to be the change that you desire?

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

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Do the Math

March 22nd, 2013

Photo Attribution: (flickr) blue2likeyouHere’s a little brain teaser for you. Why are all the following equations correct?

1 = 1
24 = 1
1,440 = 1
86,400 = 1

Did you get it right away? Need a clue?

OK, here’s a hint…take it one day at a time. Got it now?  No?

Well, as much as I would enjoy making you rack your brain to try to figure this one out, my space here is limited, so I’ll just tell you.

They’re all elements of one day. 

One day consists of 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds. That’s all we get each day. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, the numbers are the same for all of us.

We can’t buy more time. 
We can’t stop those seconds and minutes from passing. 
And, we certainly can’t get back the time that has already passed.

What we can do, though, is take advantage of the time we do have. Let’s not stare at the ticking clock and watch time slip away, like a kid waiting for the school day to end. Instead, let’s savor every moment. Make the most of every minute. And, when the time comes to put our heads down on our pillows at night, know that we made the most of the day.

So, when you wake up tomorrow, how will you live so that each second is more meaningful than the last?  

Live on Fire!

D. Luke Iorio, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP
President & CEO
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)

Catch more of  Luke’s insight into happiness, leadership, and success, on March 28th, 7 p.m. (Eastern)/6 p.m. (Central)/4 p.m. (Pacific), during The Positivity Project. This eight week series features live interviews with the world’s most knowledgeable experts in positivity and change.     

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